Clay: The next key, though, to the bridge from point a to point b, or on the puzzle analogy from puzzle piece one to puzzle piece two, that bridge in the gap there, is you need to establish solid relationships. I have learned this as an entrepreneur and business coach.
Clifton: Definitely, absolutely.
Clay: I know, this is what I did before I was a business coach. I’m sure you never did this. I remember in college, I had that look on my face, like this, like I was angry about something. People don’t want to talk to someone like that, when they have that scowl. I looked angry. Then, I would meet people and I had user re-relationships. I’d meet somebody who would do something nice for me, and I would usually say thank you, and that was it. Somebody would offer me an internship, or somebody would extend a hand shake to me, or just say, “Hey, my name’s such and such, pleasure to meet you.”
I didn’t know how to develop and nurture those relationships. I just didn’t know how to do it. How do you go about developing? If you’ve never done it before, how do you establish solid relationships?
Clifton: Here’s the key word, you said. I listed very closely. The key word is how do you nurture those relationships? Built into the concept of nurturing is caring, is being will to put the time in. Is being willing to value another person, as you value yourself. Getting to know that person and being responsive to that person, as you would want them to be responsive to you. It’s created the dynamics of relationships, not just talking about it but taking it out of the conceptual mode and making it real.
It’s like you say, realizing that I have the [owness 00:01:49] on me, to help make you have a great life.
Let’s shake hands. I want you to have a great day. I want you to have a great day. Hopefully, you want me to have a great day. If you’ve got two people wanting each other to have a great day, you’ve already set up a dynamic possibility of good relationship and good outcomes.
Clay: There was a lady who met you and Deedra wouldn’t mind me sharing this, and I’m going to because she’s a Thrive mentor. She told me when she met you, she just felt the sincerity like you wanted her to be successful. There was just this sincerity. I know that we all come from somewhere and there’s a certain point where you had to learn these skills. You do that. When you tell me, “Have a good day,” it never feels like “Have it a good day.” It doesn’t feel like you’re just saying it, to say it. We’re in a culture where you say, “What’s up?” You don’t really care what the other person says, or you just say, “See you later.”
Clifton: You know, today, I was on the phone with someone in New York and it was just a very terse, brief, conversation. I’m a southerner. I don’t really know how to be terse and brief. As the phone was getting ready to click off, I could hear her voice saying, I’m through. She didn’t say that, but her tone was saying, I’m through. I said, “Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me. It’s going to be the weekend pretty soon. I really want you to have a great weekend.” She came back bumbling, and she said, “Why thank you. I look forward to that.” She wasn’t expecting that. In this process, of earnestly wanting people to have a good day, or a good weekend, that is to really show the best of yourself which allow other people to maybe find the best of themselves, as well.
Clay: Napoleon Hill, the late, great success author defines this is as the mastermind or he defines it as building a sustainable, mutually beneficial relationships where it’s sustainable. Where you can keep that relationship for 20 years. On Thrive15.com, a top sales training program, can help you build solid relationships. I know this as a business coach and want to teach others.
Clifton: Sustainable, just like nurturing, they go together because when you sustain something, you’ve got plans. You know what you have to do. You fall, call, you tweet, you text, you do whatever, you write letters, you visit, but it’s not something that’s going to happen and no one does anything.