Clay Clark: Now I think …
Clay Staires: Go ahead.
Clay Clark: I was going to say, I think what I have found in business, this is what a rule I’ve had. I don’t know if you would agree, but I’ve seen this a lot where the entrepreneur, when you start a company, your number 1 goal is to be liked. I remember when I started the business, my first employee, I thought, “Man, I like this guy. He likes me, I like him. I’m trying to keep him happy all the time.” I remember one day he shows up late and I said, “Hey man, where were you?” He said, “Oh I’m sorry I’m behind.”
The next day he’s late. Next day he’s late. Pretty soon I realized he’s late a lot of time. It’s causing problems because I have customers, we had a home based office and I have customers who are supposed to be at the office at 6:00 at night, in our house. These are brides and grooms who are planning their wedding and we had a home office. They would show up and he’s not on time. My wife is having to greet these people and walk them into the office that was attached to the house. It just kept happening.
Finally I had to say, “Hey. I would really appreciate it if you would be on time.” He looked at me and he’s like, “Are you serious? Are you trying to tell me how to … You’re not going to give me any grace after what I’ve done for you?” I realized right then, for the first time, that I was going to have to not focus on being liked, but I would have to focus on being respected.
What happened was as I transitioned from going from being liked to being respected. What’s funny is that he came back later and he ultimately begin to like me again after he respected me. It was like, as a leader for the sense of justice, you have to focus on being respected, right?
Clay Staires: Oh yeah. Welcome to the life of the head coach. This was something that I’ve dealt with with everyone of my teams as we would be- Every year, you’re getting a new crop of kids that are coming on to your team and there would be some that would like you, some that would respect you and some that just hated you and wouldn’t play.
Clay Clark: You were coach of the year 3 times on the high school level, is that right?
Clay Staires: Yes.
Clay Clark: Was that in Oklahoma or Kansas?
Clay Staires: That was in Missouri.
Clay Clark: In Missouri okay. Awesome, awesome. Now we’re moving on to point number 4 here. This is definiteness. Definiteness of decision. Napoleon Hill says, “The man who wavers in his decisions, shows that he is not sure of himself. He cannot lead others successfully.” It seems like every leader that I’ve ever met, what they do is they get all the facts and then they act. That’s what they do. They get the facts and then they act.
When you started your own business, I know it is hard because you’re going, “I think I have the facts, now I’m going to go ahead and buy that lead list or get in the trade show or print that book.” How do you, as an entrepreneur, when you took the jump later in life- When you took the jump, how did you get over that desire to not make a decision? How did you get to that point where you could look at the facts and actually act?
Clay Staires: Again, I think that you can have all the information that you want, but still lack a confidence in moving forward. I don’t think it’s knowledge that gives me confidence. I think it’s the belief that I’m going to be able to function or the belief that these facts and then I’m going to be able to incorporate these facts to move forward.
Clay Clark: A really good example. At the T. Harv Eker event. He was teaching the idea that you can become a millionaire and you’re logically battling that thought. Because you’re saying that, “I don’t know how that’s going to happen.” “I’ve never done that and I’m not sure how it’s going to happen.”, but yet you’re hearing him say it can happen. He’s [inaudible 00:03:52] to show you examples of people who’ve done it. At some point, when did you get that belief? Was it seeing examples or how did you build your belief?
Clay Staires: I think it was probably … You’re there. This is an intensive. You’re there 10-11 hours a day just hammering. I think that was the key thing. It was just the hammering over and over and over and over of the encouragement. It wasn’t just the facts, you can do it, but there was also the encouragement and then there was also seeing examples of other people being able to do it. Then there was some practical steps and here’s what you need to do.
I think gradually, my belief began to grow. It wasn’t just reading a book and going, “Oh I’m just going to go do it now.” It was actually connecting my belief wi