Columbia Law School Professor Alexandra Carter | How to Negotiate Like a Boss with Practical Super Moves You Can Use TODAY

Show Notes

Columbia Law School professor, Alexandra Carter joins us to share how to negotiate like a boss with practical super moves you can use TODAY!

  1. Yes, yes, yes and yes! On today’s show, we are interviewing the Columbia Law School Professor and the Director of the Mediation Clinic at Columbia Law School, Alexandra Carter joins us to share about the 10 questions you need to ask to negotiate anything in life. Alexandra, welcome onto the Thrivetime Show, how are you!?
  2. Alexandra Carter, I know that you’ve had a ton of success at this point in your career, but I would love to start off at the bottom and the very beginning of your career. What was your life like growing up and where did you grow up?
    1. I grew up in Huntington, New York
    2. I lived close to the beach
    3. I always wanted to be a professor
  3. When did you first figure out what you wanted to do professionally?
    1. I had that dream as a kid, then I put it away for a long time
    2. In law school I enrolled in the class that I now teach called The Mediation Clinic
    3. I am a law professor who practices law
  4. Alexandra Carter, what first inspired you to write your new book, Ask for More: 10 Questions to Negotiate Anything?
    1. I came up with so many duds
    2. I wrote this book because by the time that people come to me relationships are gone.
    3. I wanted to write something for everyone to learn how to negotiate and manage conflict.
  5. How did you get your kids off screens
    1. I started with a question
    2. We came to an agreement for limiting the screen time and meeting her need to connect with friends.
  6. Alexandra, in your new book Ask for More: 10 Questions to Negotiate Anything you share that Negotiation is not a zero-sum game. What do you mean by this?
  7. Alexandra, from what I can tell you believe that negotiation is an essential skill for your career that can also improve your closest relationships and your everyday life. What do you mean by this?
  8. Why is opening a question with the phrase “Tell us about…” much more effective than asking someone “Why”?
    1. I’ve found that over time, when I hear out what they have to say, a lot of the defensiveness melts away
  9. Alexandra Carter, we’ve been taught that the loudest and most assertive voice prevails in any negotiation, however, in your book you show that you get far more value by asking the right questions of the person you’re negotiating with than you do from arguing with them. What do you mean by this?
  10. In your book, you offer a simple yet powerful ten-question framework for successful negotiation where both sides emerge victorious. 
  11. In your book you share your proven method that extends far beyond one “yes” or handshake and instead creates value that lasts a lifetime…I would love if you could walk us through this..?
  12. What of the 10 questions have you found that works the best for you?
    1. “Tell me…” is the magic question I ask in every situation
    2. The way to wreck a question is to ask the question and then stop talking
      1. Land the plane
      2. Silence can be great in negotiation

The Referee Pitman Show –

  1. Alexandra, what advice would you give the younger version of yourself?
  2. We find that most successful entrepreneurs tend to have idiosyncrasies that are actually their super powers…what idiosyncrasy do you have?
  3. What message or principle that you wish you could teach everyone?
  4. You’ve got the mic, what is one thing that you want to share with the Thrive Nation before you drop the mic?
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