How to Not Get Offended | Learning to Say No to Outrage – Ask Clay Anything

Show Notes

Our culture today is heavily addicted to being outraged and easily offended. Doctor Zoellner and Clay Clark break down the importance of letting it go and staying in your “flow state” of stoic diligence.

NOTABLE QUOTABLE – “Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you.” – Joel Osteen

Business Coach | Ask Clay & Z Anything

Audio Transcription

Welcome back to the conversation is yet another edition of ask clay anything business podcasts and the question was emailed in from a thriver and I will paraphrase for the sake of time, how do you learn to get over things? That’s. That’s basically the email. How do you learn to get over things and this email is very personal, a lot of specific issues, but let me get to the root of the issue and see. I have a little story and I’d like to do to break it down. Well you do story time music behind it. Excised that feel a little cheated. So the other day, Friday, Friday I went to Denver because a very, very dear friend of mine and I needed to work on the project. So I go to Denver and when I’m on the plane I noticed that there is a flight attendant who gets bumped by a female soccer player. It’s a college soccer team. All these division one soccer players, they’ve got big backpacks, so the younger ladies got the younger of the soccer player, has headphones on, you know the big hit, the big bose headphones, the Beth, nice fancy one.

The beats thethe bose, bose sound canceling headphones listening to I assume business podcasts. So she turns her backpack. She gets up. She actually bumped into a flight attendant on a non southwest flight by the way. Oh. And the flight attendant, immediately polyester being worn by the flight attendants. Immediately the flight attendant begins to gripe and complain and cannot let it go that the soccer player ran into her and it wasn’t like a minute or two or three the entire time. The plane is offboarding. She will not stop complaining. What is like, what is she saying? What? This is what she’s asking. She says unbelievable. And this lady who’s upset is like in her late fifties and the youngs, the soccer players like maybe 20, 10, 18. And she’s like, sorry ma’am. And she goes, kids like you today. I swear the younger generation, you guys don’t care and she will not move on.

The lady did not know she bumped into. It’s a huge backpack she’s wearing with all her key area and this lady just, and you know, she’s going to stay upset for like an hour. Oh Gosh, because we’re getting off the plane and she’s still just lamenting, complaining and I see with business owners. Let me tell you what, when I get a bad google review from somebody who isn’t even a customer and who wasn’t ever a customer, um, a that’s like everyday. So we have a guy for elephant in the room who’s an active member who comes in all of the time and about a year ago he went online and wrote the most scathing negative review about our service, talking about how he waited for like a half hour. So we check the tape, but no exaggeration, he waited for like five minutes. Our team greeted him immediately. His normal stylist was running a little bit behind because the customer previous to him was running a little late and he said, no problem.

And he sits there in the lobby. It continues to just rail on her personally on Google and on facebook while he’s waiting. Then she says, well sir, I’m ready for your haircut. Comes back, gets his haircut, says thank you to her face, and then he gets in his car and writes another review on our other facebook location. Now that could upset me. I’m 37 as a younger man. I would say as young as 26, 25, that would have kept me mad for days z. you’ve taught me how to deal with it. I would like for you to help our listeners out there. For anyone out there who’s struggling to let it go, there’s the young soccer player that bumped them that didn’t maybe seem apologetic enough or somebody writing a bad review. There’s an employee who stole something. I want to tap into your wisdom and depaul’s wisdom. How do we let it go? How do we let it go?

First of all, everybody listening to this right now, what I want you to do is take a deep breath in through the nose, out through the mouth, ready together altogether. Ready? Three, two, one


It’s going to be okay.

I’m not sure when our culture flip the switch on this attitude of being offended,

duly noted. Sorry, I was on facebook, how we went from this live and let live how we went from this. Sticks and stones can break our bones, but words can never hurt us. How we went from this culture of it’s going to be all right to this culture of, okay, when you wake up the day you’d be looking for it because you’re going to get offended today. Stuff that’s going to offend you and and it’s probably going to be more than one thing, and you hold onto that and you gripe about it and you sue them and you get bitter and you write online business podcasts reviews and you do whatever you could do to rectify it. Take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay.

Now, what if you don’t let it be okay? See what’s going to happen to you. The

only thing that’s going to happen to you is you’re going to have heartburn. You might not have physical heartburn. You’re going to have emotional heart burn. You’re going to have spiritual heartburn. You’re going to have all types of heartburn in your life because I tell you what, forgiving people, even when they don’t deserve it, helps you get. Repeat that again. That’s good. That’s good for giving people even when they don’t deserve it, is good for you. You can look at all the signs. You can look at all this spirituality on it. You can look at you. We go across the board, but holding bitterness and unforgiveness in your heart only hurts you. It doesn’t hurt the other person. You may think it does. You may want it to. You may want to get a shovel and go chase him around the airport. You. Oh, shoot. It feels like to either buy a backpack. I wouldn’t read it.

Quotable and I’d like some nice echoes. I want to get Paul’s take on this spot. Then he apply the echo. Okay, here we go. I need a. who’s this is. This is a powerful quote from Mr. Pastor Joel Olsteen. Alright, here we go. Let me get my music ready. Got. They’re going to get good. I gotta I gotta kind of get to a good place here emotionally. Let me. Okay, I think I’m ready. Here we go. Okay, now can I get my voice ready? Here we go. Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed, or offended about what y’all doing. When you indulge these negative emotions, you’re just giving something outside your south over happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you. Sign Pastor Joel Osteen, Paul Hood. How do you not let little things bother you anymore? You have thousands of clients. How do you not love that?

Bother you? What clay you learn. You get thick skin because the reality is the person you hold a grudge against where somebody says something, they moved on to something else 10 minutes later and you’re still sitting there holding, holding that all inside. And the reality is a lot of that is internal. It’s how we see ourselves and when you see yourself as a, I’m sorry, but the way God sees you and and that, that you’re a work of art and, and you know you’re going to make mistakes, but it’s, you know, you just don’t. You don’t judge yourself. And so when people say things to us, it’s actually us and the pain that we feel is we’re judging ourselves and clay, you know, the, one of the best things I ever done is I wrote, I Read Martin Manson’s book, the subtle art of not giving a blank.

Why would you give a blank?

It really is a good book. It’s an incredible book. And he and he talks in that book about how we spend so much time about how we went to work today and nobody asks us how good our weekend was or, or the, the, the person in the, you know, whatever, give us the wrong change and they just didn’t smile. So we spend too much time on that claim.

Can I pile on pile on? Pile hood is a work of art. I mean come on. He did that fitness contest. I mean you were lean and mean. Boom. Truly being for members. Every work of art. I mean come on. Oh, I don’t want to take the show to a gratuitous. I don’t want to use sex to sell, but if we were going to use sex to sell, we would just have Paul business podcasts fitness photos were just up there of all of our ad can be up on stage, all oiled up and like signing someone’s, you know, he turned. He can be a torso model. I mean, come on. I think we’re going too far. Yeah, torso. Exactly.

No, but in all sincerity out there, if you’re out there today and you’re offended, I just encourage you to ask yourself, can I let it go? Can I let it go? I encourage you to let it go because to let it go every day. According to Joel Olsteen, everyday, we have plenty of business podcasts opportunities to get angry, stressed, or offended, but what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside of yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you, and now without any further ado, three, two, one, boom.


Let us know what's going on.

Have a Business Question?

Ask our mentors anything.