Whether in marriage or in business research proves that your network with determines your net worth and that you become the average of the five people that you spend the most time with. Clay Clark breaks down how “marrying up” to his wife Vanessa Moore Clark has greatly improved his life.
All right. Thrive nation. Here we are, yet again reporting from the Hummer of love here. I’m exiting Camp Clark and chicken palace. I’m in route to a resource to pick up some organic meat and as much Pinon wood is they’ll sell me so that we can have another epic night here with the Fam after we wrap up today’s podcast recording. And then we have a thriver who emailed me to [email protected] and I guess they had been creeping on or looking up photos of my wife, which is hilarious. And a, uh, a weird. Not maybe that weird. Maybe. Maybe it’s not weird. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just a, I don’t know how to process it, but the point is the comment was made. I’ve got a few questions, but it’s like, man, you really married up, like how did you score that lady? And so I’m the ballot question.
And so I thought what I would do was first talked to you about how much of an impact this wonderful woman has made on my life, my wife, Vanessa Clark, and I thought I would also talk to you about the value, the value of marrying up and really just upgrading your relationships in general. You see, when I met my wife at the time, we were freshmen at oral Roberts University and she was an is hot, so hot. I’d like to say that I had a virtuous goal or I was wowed by her mind or no, I was just simply I’m checking out her behind. I mean I gotta be honest with that was what it was. It was just like, man, she is attractive, you know. And so we had this thing called a get your roommate a date, which is an event that had an oral Roberts University where when you go to oral Roberts University, there is a sister wing and a brother when now the brother wing, it’s like a vr version of a fraternity and the sort of the sister wing as diversion of like a sorority.
And the, the coed dorms, okay. So you can’t go into the guy’s dorm or the girls’ dorm, but like once a semester, but you can go on dates and you can interact in that kind of thing. And so they try to do is I try to pair you up your brother, Wayne with your sister wing that will, you can meet some people and build some relationships, get to know some people. And one of the big events they have is get your roommate a date, which is a, it’s hard to believe, but the goal of it is to get your roommate a date. You have to go out there and try to get your roommate a date. I might. My roommate mark at the time was dating a longtime girlfriend. And so he didn’t want to participate in this thing, you know. So I reached out to a guy by the name of Jake and Jake was a, uh, a college soccer towards division one soccer player.
And so jake stepped up to the plate and he said, Hey, I will get you a date who you wanting to go on a date with? And I remember pointing at the cheerleader at the, or you basketball getting oral Roberts University. Oral Roberts University is a division one basketball team. And so, you know, I don’t know, maybe out kicked my coverage. I say definitely out kicked my coverage and I pointed, I said, Jake, that’s what I want to take on a date. And a Jake said, well, I’m okay, I’ll give her the, we’ll give it a try here. We got to, you know, a little bit of an uphill battle here, but I got to move. What’s the move? He said I got to move. So a long story short, uh, Jake kind of did the referral move, so he would sit next to Vanessa during lunch, kind of meet her friends, uh, speak about highly about me and how, you know, Gosh, you know, if she should really go on a date with a guy like me and jake crew wasn’t my roommate, but he made it happen.
Uh, Jake also is the inventor of the patented haircut that I typically rocked today, which I call the duck. But so whenever I have hair, I call it the duck. But in it’s kind of like a fohawk meets a level two razor guard on the side there, a fohawk on top and it’s the, it’s the whatever. I don’t shop my mop. That’s, that’s the look I’m going with there. So Jake Aldridge, thank you for inventing the duck, but haircut and fridge. Disney introducing me to my wife. So we go on a date. Shouldn’t say a lot, but the things she said were just very wise. It seemed like she had a, a broader vocabulary than me. I remember one date on the first date, she actually said that word, sage. I’m going, yeah, yeah. Overall, she said, um, she said something like, sage advice will thrive nation.
I didn’t even know what. I didn’t even know what the word sage was. I didn’t know what the word is. Sage was. I didn’t know what the word sage meant. And so when she’s talking about sage advice, I remember going back after the date and having to get out of dictionary if you can believe the technology we had back then. We didn’t have a computer. I could look it up on the Google. Yeah. The computer had a computer, but it was a micron with 333 megahertz that I personally bought myself for over $5,000. And when you click one button and go
and the Internet was, so, it took forever to load an anything. So I pulling my dictionary, I see the word sage and I realized, wow, wow, this, this lady, uh, taught me the word sage and she is a sage. She is a wise person. Then as we started dating over time, benefit number two of this incredible woman and benefit number two of upgrading your friendships remote. They’re listening is she helped me see as it is. And then I really was and am a dive bar man bear pig and she’s a princess. She’s on regal and she has expectations. Uh, she has, um, goals, visions, class, all these things that I did not have. And over time I think I’ve developed expectations. I’ve, I’ve developed goals. I’ve gotten a lot better than a lot of areas, but she just had all of that and I didn’t know where she got it from.
You know, we both didn’t grow up with a lot of money, but she just had that expectation that we were going places. I was a DJ, you know, I wanted to go to like the uh, I mean I thought some of the hell gigs were awesome. I thought when I got a chance to dj at the elks lodge, it was awesome and I thought when I could dj at the elks lodge, it was just awesome. I remember Dj at the Knights of Columbus have in at 91st and Lynn Lane and broken Arrow going, this is awesome. Oh my gosh, I’m getting paid $200 to DJ. I just had no real vision for my life. And, and, uh, I really think she helped me clarify those things and she made me just want to step up my game, I think to wow my wife. I had to step up my game in every area.
The third benefit of marrying an incredible woman, a marrying my wife and free upgrading your relationships. This has big is that when you’re around people with higher expectations, you will find that you naturally increase your compensation. In fact, porter gale, he used to be a marketing executive for Virgin Airlines. Know she worked for Richard Branson there with a Virgin Airways virgin records, Richard Branson, the, the famous mercurial, a entrepreneur known for doing pretty wild things, uh, having extreme highs and lows in his career. She worked for him. And one thing she talked about in her book called your network is your net worth, is that you really do end up earning the average of the five people that you associate with. Now that’s, that’s true whether you’re up a dentist, a lawyer, a pastor, a plumber, if you hang out with people that have higher expectations, man, it made, it impacts your compensation.
You start to make more, you start to do more. You start to be more because people that are going somewhere, no, they really don’t want anybody holding them down. And people that aren’t going somewhere typically love company. So I’ve just found this, that people that are going somewhere, they know where they’re going, they don’t want ankle weights, they don’t want anything holding them down. So you’ve just got to be so intentional. Do you read the book of proverbs in the controversial book known as the Bible? Are you talking about the bibles? Because that allowed, yeah, the Bible. It talks about the importance of walking with surrounding yourself with wise counsel. Just look up wise counsel and the book, Proverbs P R O v e r s, and you shall see the truth of this concept. Number four, forget compensation. You just become the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
You do. I mean, it doesn’t matter what I think about it. Just you do. That’s what happens. You end up, you end up talking like them and enacting like that I’ve talked about on previous podcasts. But if you hang around enough people from Boston because you live in Boston, uh, you know, you might live in Oklahoma and like the Patriots, but the moment that you moved to Boston, Massachusetts and you begin to live there to get closer to Gillette stadium and you say, Gosh, I want to, I want to live closer to foxborough a new England, and you find yourself wanting to be closer to the Patriots. All of a sudden you’re going to find yourself just randomly saying to yourself, oh, that’s, oh, that’s wicked awesome. That’s, that’s absolutely wicked awesome. You’re going to go, where did that come from? It is out of the blue and go, oh, that’s the Wiki to awesome.
Or you’re going to say, I love, by the way, let me work into the accent here. It takes me a moment. But you’re going to find yourself saying, I want some freaking locked step. And it’s crazy because you’ll be at like a church and the pastor will say to you, uh, Greg, um, you know, would you bless the meal? And you’ll find yourself saying, oh, freaking yeah, I swear I won’t do it. Yeah, because bad, bad stat, because you are around people all the time that say freaking awesome. You’re going to find yourself saying your wife will say, Babe, will you pick up the kids with the car? You know, go pick them up at school and you’d say, I’ll pick up the kids with the freaking Chi. You know, you’ll find yourself talking about the bar by saying, I’ll go to the back. I’m just going to find yourself talking a lot about lots that you might even find yourself saying.
Tom Brady is freaking awesome. I mean, you’re going to find yourself like an idle time writing down the words bill belichick. You’re going to just, I don’t know, it just happens. Pretty soon you’re going to get a celtics tattoo. You’re going to auto ship lobster. I mean, it just, it, it impacts you if you live in Minnesota where I grew up there, Minnesota. If you grew up Minnesota, you’re going to start saying an a, the letter a after every word. You would. You would say Minnesota. Oh Bjorn, don’t you know a, a, we’re going to go into town. Uh, what, why don’t we go up north up north and you’re going to find yourself cutting cookies and the shapes and the shape of bars. Because in Minnesota they don’t make cookies. No, no, no. They don’t roll them out and put them in a circular shape.
No dough balls, no, no. They pour the dough into a square container and they cut them into bars. You’re going to find yourself acquiring a taste for rubar and Molson Canadian beer. You’re going to find yourself all of a sudden engaged in ice fishing, driving a full sized 50 truck onto a frozen lake to auger a whole to fish with a guy named bjorn and an ice house at six foot by six foot on a frozen lake and you’re going to think it’s safe and you’re going to feel like anybody who questions the sanity of ice fishing is an idiot because you are in an ice house. You my friend, are going to find yourself loving the legend of Kirby Puckett, the Minnesota Vikings, and you’ll be in your car listening to per rain, purple rain. Soon you’re going to start to refer to prince as though he is a, a demigod, not a real god, but kind of a false god.
You’re going to find yourself almost not worshiping, but really revering prints. You might find yourself thinking of prints the same way that some people think about, you know, certain religious leaders. It’s unbelievable how the people around you impact you. I remember I hung around some morons and I was in college, just some freaking idiots, the biggest morons ever. Some idiots. And we would, we, I’m not exaggerating. We would actually think about ways to secure more free tokens from the casino because the casino had a deal where you got $5 of free tokens if you went in. So I’d go in there, you know, uh, and I would try to get $5 of tokens and I would play the games bringing meaning, bringing, bringing meaning. And then after I used my $5, we would go back to the dorm rooms and change shirts and go in through another entrance to try to get more, uh, to get more free.
Five Dollars Tokens there at the casino. You find yourself when you’re around a certain group of people, you actually sneak into a buffet line beyond the point where the people have paid thus gaining free access to unlimited food. I remember in college I went to Oral Roberts University. There was a group of us that would actually not eat for two consecutive days if possible. We would do a nonspiritual fast just so that we could win the game and eat as much food as possible from a poor restaurant out there called CCS. I feel so bad for CCS. Probably a great brand, probably great people, but they had this thing where it was like, I want to say it was $5, 99 for unlimited pizza on like Thursdays or something maybe was Tuesdays. We’d go into CCS and none of us had eaten in like two days and all.
I mean, we’re so hungry. Can’t sleep. We got hunger pains, but we’re doing it all so that we can go out there and get free cc’s pizza and we just crushed that thing. Unlimited breadsticks, unlimited pizza, cinnamon sticks. We didn’t care how bad it was for us. We didn’t care whether we were hungry anymore, we just wanted to eat as much as possible. Do we have time to think about improving our lives? No. Do we have time to study? No. Did we have time to memorize rap lyrics? Yes. Yes, because we were jackasses because my friend, you become the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Jim Roan, the best selling author said you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with and I’m saying to you, if you’re hanging out with Jack Asses, your body will somehow mutate and translate itself into the financial and physical and mental equivalent equivalency of a jackass.
You will not do well. Now, the final concept, the final thing, the final benefit that I have found in my life, just in terms of the world of business, from marrying an incredible woman and for marrying a from upgrading my friends and relationships, and then you will also see from upgrading your friendships and relationships is that you’re gonna. You’re gonna. You’re gonna. Start to harness the power of the mastermind. What the power of the mastermind, it’s the mastermind, the mastermind. It’s a principle written about in Napoleon Hill’s book, think and grow rich was I’m putting on the show notes, this excerpt so you can read it and marinate on it, discover the truth of it, but Napoleon Hill in his book think and grow rich, discovered by the way that book which he wrote after spending 20 years studying the world’s most successful people, he found that the mastermind was the single number one most important factor in determining the level of success that somebody would ultimately have in their life.
So Napoleon Hill rights, no individual man may have great power without availing himself to the mastermind in a proceeding. Chapter instructions were given for the creation of the plans for the purpose of translating desire into its monetary equivalent. Let’s help all because I don’t have the POC, we move on. If you carry out these instructions with persistence and intelligence and use discrimination, a lot of words, their body in the selection of your mastermind group, you, you what you you will, your objective, your objective will be half have been half reached, halfway reached even before you begin to recognize. Let me, let me repeat it again. I think I mangled that. That quote was impressive. If you carry out these instructions with persistence and intelligence and use discrimination in the selection of your mastermind group, your objective will have been halfway reached even before you begin to recognize it. Ladies and gentlemen, this has been a yet another knowledge bomb presented live in factory direct from me to you because I eliminated the middleman by recording this into Hummer of love while driving to reserves to buy copious amounts of meat and as much opinion would as they will sell me without any further ado, three, two, one. Boom.