Sean Stephenson on How to Get Over Your Addiction to Pity

Show Notes

Sean Stephenson is the best-selling author and speaker endorsed by Jimmy Kimmel, President Bill Clinton, Ken Blanchard and Tony Robbins. He was born with osteogenesis imperfecta and despite all of the hurdles associated with ‘Brittle bones disease’ he has gone on to become a successful writer, speaker, and therapist.

Book: Get Off Your “But”: How to End Self-Sabotage and Stand Up for Yourself

Show Introduction – 

  1. Today’s guest is a larger than life speaker, and thought leader who has produced Youtube content that has now over 70 million views and yet he stands at almost 3 feet tall. Throughout his 25 years speaking on stage, Sean has been working to change the world. Sean Stephenson has defied the odds while painfully pushing through the countless obstacles caused by living with brittle bone disease. Sean, I’m honored to have you on the show! Thank you for being here.
  2. Sean, throughout your career you’ve been able to encourage so many, yet most of the doctors that saw you as a young child did not think you would even be alive at this point. Can you share about living with brittle bone disease?
    1. I am 3 feet tall, in a wheelchair and has osteogenesis imperfecta.
    2. I became a speaker when I was a teenager.
    3. I decided to go to school and become a professional listener (therapist)
    4. Adversity when you’re in different stages of life is always disguised differently. Now, my adversity has all to do with growing my company and making an impact on this planet.
    5. I don’t think about the physical adversities now because I have bigger things to overcome.
  3. Sean, I believe I’ve heard you say that with this disease, sneezing could actually break a collarbone. Am I correct with this?
    1. Osteogenesis imperfecta causes the bones to be very fragile.
    2. I broke my collarbone once vomiting when I had the flu
  4. Sean, I believe that you had experienced over 200 fractures before the age of 18, Is that correct and how did you stay positive despite this countless adversity?
    1. I would break many bones just putting on a pair of pants or a jacket too fast.
    2. This caused me to really dive deep into the study of the mind.
  5. Throughout your life, you’ve obviously encountered countless setbacks. What do you say to yourself or what’s going on in your head when something really bad or negative is happening to you?
    1. I focus my mind on what I want, what I have, and what I like
      1. When you focus on these, you begin to develop your why and see where your motivation comes from.
      2. When you focus on what you don’t want, don’t have and don’t like, you will be swamped with negativity and this is what most people focus on
  6. Sean, you’ve said that suffering is optional and that more humans are addicted to pity than anything else on the planet. Break this down for us.
    1. Anything that you’re addicted to from a choice or a substance, you began this addiction because you were first addicted to pity.
      1. “Why me” “I was born into this” “This isn’t fair”
    2. You really hold yourself back when you are constantly in a pool of pity
    3. I’m constantly journaling my thoughts to see them on paper and can ask “is this what I want to be feeling or thinking?”
  7. Sean, you’ve said that you discovered at a young age, “That when you do feel sorry for yourself people back away from you slowly. And that when you do make light of things and have fun and make people laugh. People creep toward you. They inch toward you when you bring them good feelings. When you make them feel sorry for you they slowly back away.” Sean, this is a powerful word, I would love for you to break this down for our listeners?
    1. Some of the things we discover, we discover over time and become re-acquainted with 
    2. When I was in highschool I looked different and there was another kid who also was different.
    3. He was younger than me so I developed a mentorship with this young man
    4. I met with this kid and told him “Listen, you feel like you don’t have a choice because of your disability and that everyone doesn’t like you because of it. I’m focused on all of the things this disability brings to me. The fact that everyone looks at me when I stroll into a room is gold. It makes me sticky and memorable in people’s minds which is also known as good marketing. Years later they’re going to remember your name.
    5. You have to create an atmosphere where people want to be around you. If you create an atmosphere of “The world is an awful place” then the only people will only attract people just like you.
  8. Do you have a mantra, a phrase, an anthem or a book that has impacted your life most, and why?
  9. Sean, you wrote a book called, Get Off Your “But”: How to End Self-Sabotage. What first inspired you to write this book?
  10. Sean, your book is actually endorsed by Tony Robbins and in fact, the foreword of your book was written by Tony Robbins. How did you two first connect?
    1. This guy came up to me at a conference from the “Make a Wish Foundation” and asked “If I could do anything, what would you want to do?”
    2. I was always drawn to Tony and his infomercials
    3. Before I knew it, I was hanging out with Tony in a hotel room and now we have become close friends
    4. Tony had a huge impact because he told me that I had a responsibility for my reality
    5. Tony Robbins, Les Brown and Wayne Bryer inspired me to be a speaker.
  11. You keep mentioning containers. What do you mean by this?
    1. We all have a body and it is shaped differently
    2. I call my body a container because it holds my passion, spirit and everything that I am but it is not everything that I am.
    3. Some people pick apart the appearance and they forget that it is just the container you’re in
    4. At a young age I made a list of things I wanted to experience and none of them were things that my disease prevented
      1. Have love
      2. Make money
      3. Travel
      4. Great friends
      5. Make an impact on the planet
  12. How do you have so much compassion for other people?
    1. Being in my container and having my history, I have a huge amount of empathy for pain and struggles
    2. I believe that everyone is doing the best they can with their tools but they just need to upgrade their tools
    3. Having an attitude of “Get over it” isn’t going to inspire them
    4. You can’t force an awakening in a person’s life, you can only invite them.
  13. Sean, your book is broken down into 6 Lessons and I would like to take a moment to have you break them down one by one.
  14. Lesson 1 – Start Connecting. Sean, what is this section of your book all about?
    1. Connecting is different from communication
    2. Connection is an exchange of humanity and it is important that we connect with other people
    3. You can save someone’s life just by smiling at them and asking how their day is going.
    4. Connecting is about getting to know the other person. It’s easy to just talk about yourself. It’s easy because you know you and it can be scary to dive into someone else’s life.
    5. Don’t act like you know what someone else is going through. When you do this, you’re not making them feel good. What makes them feel good is asking how they are feeling and getting them to talk about themselves
    6. You can do so much more by doing some background research on people.
  15. Lesson 2 – Watch What You Say to Yourself – Sean, break down what this portion of your book is all about?
  16. Lesson 3 – Master Your Physical Confidence – Sean, what is this section of your book all about?
  17. Lesson 4 – Focus Your Focus – Sean, what is this portion of your book all about?
  18. Lesson 5 – Choose Your Friends Wisely – Sean, I would love to have you break down what you mean by this?
    1. There are a lot of conditions in life that determine our lives but the biggest one is our friendbase
    2. Whether you like it or not, you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with
    3. If you’re spending time with negative people, you will become negative
    4. If you spend time with positive people, you will become like them and they will tend to lift you up.
    5. NOTABLE QUOTABLE: “If you continue to get into dirty water, you will never come out clean” – Sean Stephenson
    6. If I need to get into better shape, I turn to my friends who are in great shape. I shape my life by shaping who I surround myself with.
    7. You have to be very careful with who you let into your life
    8. NOTABLE QUOTABLE: “If you have one negative person in your life, they  can totally derail your destiny” – Sean Stephenson
  19. If you could go back in time and talk to yourself when you were 19, what would you say to yourself?
    1. I would say don’t go to that fraternity party when you turned 21
  20. What was the lowest point
    1. It was 2017 and I went through a business challenge with a partner of mine. I realized that it was time to go my own way and I knew it was going to be hard. It was a business divorce. You have to split everything up and there are hurt feelings.
    2. I have never grown as a man as deep and accelerated than in that time in my life.
  21. Lesson 6 – Take Full Responsibility – Sean what do you mean by this and where do most people get it wrong by default?
  22. What is the best advice that you have ever received throughout your career?
  23. Sean, you come across as a very well-read person, what are 1 or 2 books that you would recommend that all of our listeners should read?
    1. The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield
  24. How do you organize your day, what time do you wake up?
    2. Sometimes I wake up at 5:00 am and sometimes I wake up at 9:00 am
  25. Sean Stephenson, I would love for you to share with the listeners out there about your vision for the next 12 months of your life and what projects you are currently working on?

ACTION ITEMS: What excuses are you making that are “holding you back” from reaching your goals or dreams? Stop putting off your goals and start working toward them on a daily basis.

Business Coach | Ask Clay & Z Anything

Audio Transcription

Sean Stephenson Thrivetime Show Slides

Jason, my understanding is that you rmother is a big fan of today’s guest. She is. How did you, how did you first hear about it?

Today’s guests, Mr. Sean Stephenson. I heard about him that she had shared multiple videos of him just giving like encouragement to people on Facebook years ago. Well, your mother is super wise because today’s guest is a larger than life speaker who’s endorsed by Jimmy Kimmel. Jason, you’ve heard of Jimmy Kimmel. He sounds familiar. We’ll check this out. Today’s guest, Sean Stephenson, is actually endorsed by President Bill Clinton. Jason, are you familiar with the president? Bill Clinton, the saxophone player? Yeah, correct. Today’s guest is actually endorsed by the Management Guru, Ken Blanchard and the iconic motivational speaker, Tony Robbins. Sean Stephenson was born with brittle bone disease, which means that his bones are falling apart over time. In fact, before the age of 18 he had over 200 bone fractions. However, despite the adversity that he faces on a day to day basis, Sean Stephenson has gone on to become a best selling author, a leading motivational speaker. And I can think of nobody on the planet more qualified than to give today’s presentation about how to get over your addiction to pity. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, it’s my honor and pleasure to introduce to you Mr Sean Stephenson.

Some shows don’t need a celebrity in a writer to introduce the show, but this show down to may eight kids, Koch created by two different women, 13 moat time, million dollar businesses. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the thrive time,

Sean Stephenson show incredible guest. I’m excited. Uh, Sean Stephenson. Welcome out to the thrive time show. How are you, sir?

Am Excellent. Thank you for having me.

Hey, I a m today’s topic where we’re, we’re gonna talk today about how to get over your addiction to pity. And I’ve always considered myself to be a pretty resilient person. I feel like I’ve pushed through a lot of adversity. And then I stumbled upon your story and I just have to say in comparison to what you’ve gone through, I got nothing. So I’d love if you could share with the listeners a little bit about your background for people who are not as familiar with your background as I have been because,

sure, absolutely. So what I think you’re referencing there might be a value for everybody to know is, and I’m about three feet tall. I’m in a wheelchair, I have a rare bone disorder that I was born with called ask your genesis in perfect. And when I was born, the doctors told my parents that I wasn’t gonna live their first 24 hours of my life, but I’m happy to report that 39 years later, all those doctors, your dad didn’t understand right here. So it’s been a wild ride growing up in my container, taking on the challenges of life and you know, I really are reversed, engineered a lot of what it takes to not be addicted to that self pity as you mentioned. And we’re going to get in to that and hopefully some depth today because so pity is something that we are all capable of using, utilizing and having. It’s just take our dreams away from us. And so I’m just pleased to be on this program and happy to share some in depth knowledge. Hopefully that helps the listener here.

Well, what I wanted to do on today’s shows, I want to spend 95% of this interview teaching people how to overcome self pity and I want to take 5% of it to provide the right backgrounds. Everybody who truly knows what you’ve gone through, I believe that I have a read that you have had over 200 bone fractures before the age of 18 and that you actually broke your collarbone from sneezing. Is this correct?

Yeah, it’s actually a little more in depth than Matt. So like I said, this rare disorder that I have is called [inaudible] Syndrome factor and it causes the bones to be very fragile. So, as you mentioned, over 200 fractures by the age of 18, and it was a very common occurrence to break the bones from sneezing, coughing, and I broke my collar bone one time, just vomiting when I had the flu. And multiple fractures from putting on a jacket or a pair of pants too quickly would snap the legs or the arms hitting a bump too hard growing up in my wheelchair leg break, a few bones. And so it was a child filled with a lot of physical pain. Um, and that’s why I became so fascinated with studying the mind and how do we live in containers and lines that are filled with pain and not allow that to just keep us down and not play a big life.

So that’s, that’s where I really got into it professionally. Uh, I became a professional speaker when I was an early teenager and then about 10 years into my speaking career, I had a young lady come up to me from my audience. She rolled her sleeves up and she had cuts all up and down and arms and she said, why do I do this? To myself. No, I, I no clue. I was a young kid in my early twenties and I said, sweetie, I don’t know, but I’m going to go find out. And that’s when I went back to school and became a professional listener, also known as the therapist to understand the human psyche and how do we all navigate our own pain because whether we like to admit to it or not, we all have insecurities. We all have fears. We all have things in our light that could and allow us to feel sorry for ourselves if we played that card in, how do we overcome that?

So I want to, I want to ask you this. When you’re going through an adversity, what do you say to yourself? Well, what’s going on in your head right now today when something bad happens, when our rejection happens and adversity happens, an injury happened, what? What do you say to yourself? What does that inner dialogue look like?

Well, I’ll tell you that the university has changed radically depending on the stage in my life. And I think everybody listening can relate to that. They, you know, the diversity. When you’re in grade school is maybe not being bullied or, um, maybe being picked for the sporting team, right? And the adversity when you’re in high school and college with maybe finding love and romance is very silly later is your career. And, and I, I had different sets of adversity. You know, mine was how do I navigate without fracturing a boon? Ah, how do I handle, um, surgeries? How do I handle being stared at? But I now at this age, I’m almost 40 years old. Uh, my adversity has everything to do with growing my company, building a business with my wife, uh, you know, making an impact on this planet. I don’t think as much about the physical adversities, even though they’re still present.

Uh, because I have newer tools in my life to deal with the challenges that I dealt with my whole life. So what do I say to myself? Well, the B is being used. I have to focus on three areas to feel good and I have to avoid focusing on three areas to feel bad. So way I focus my mind is I focused on what I want. Would I have in? What do I like? And when you focus on what do you want, what do you have? What do you like? You start to feel optimistic. You start to feel that there’s an energy coming to you. You start to see, you know, a big why to keep going forward. But the problem most people have is they do the opposite. They focus on what they don’t work, what they don’t have, and what they don’t like. And when you focus on what you don’t like, you’re just obsessed with your fears. When you focused on what you don’t have, you’re obsessed with your enemies. When you focus on, when you don’t like, you’re just riddled with complaints. So a lot of dealing with adversity is just managing your focus.

So let

say what? That’s powerful. That’s awesome. But it’s good. That’s good. This is like knowledge, a knowledge bomb buffet. Here we’ve got a couple of [inaudible]. Anyway, let’s a couple of minutes. What’s another? Boom three and then a holy cow. Oh, there we go. Okay. Now.

Okay. Now you have said that suffering is optional and that more humans are addicted to pity than anything else on the planet. You it. Am I getting that correct?

That is correct. I mean anything that you are addicted to in terms of there a choice or a substance, you only got addicted to it because you were first addicted to pity. You first found like, why me? How do I get out of this pain? Why does this always happen to me? This sucks. Why did I get stuck into this container, this condition, this family, this mindset, whatever it may be? Right, and so I do believe that suffering is optional. I think that we all fall prey to it. I want to make it clear to the person wearing their headphones or out listening to this out and about in their day that you are susceptible just like I am. Just like all the guys on this show are susceptible to self-pity, April coming, go throughout your day, throughout your week, right month, throughout your year in your life.

It’s not like I carved it out and that the Great Sean Stephenson, that’s me marketing myself, the Great Sean Stephenson doesn’t feel south pity anymore. It’s acknowledging when I’m doing, you know when you do it unconsciously, when you just think that that’s the normal emo to being alive is to feel sorry for yourself. That’s when you really get screwed. That’s when you really own yourself back versus auditing your own thoughts, your own feelings. This is why I like to journal and constantly journaling out my own thoughts just so I can see them in print and think, is this what I want to keep thinking? Is this what I want to keep feeling? Is this what I want to keep focusing on?

You have said that you discovered at a very young age that when you do feel sorry for yourself, people back away from you slowly and that when you do make light of things and have fun and make people laugh, people creep towards you. They inch toward you, they’re kind of like drawn to it. When you bring them good feelings, when you, when, when did you discover that and how did that truth impact your life?

Well, the memory that just popped up because there was someone, the things we discover, we discover them over time and then each time we get reacquainted with it we’re like, ah, yeah, I think I got this lesson two years ago and I needed to get it again. Oh, I got this, you know, two days ago I needed to get it again. So it’s not like I, I just found it behind the refrigerator one day. They was like a series of being reacquainted to it. But the first memory that I have today that popped up around this is when I was in high school, I had, you know, a physical disability. I looked inward and there was this other kid who had a different physical challenge. And I remember I was a senior in high school and he was a freshman. So I was a part of the, a mentorship group with this young man.

And his father came to me and said, you know, would you mentor my, my son? He, he doesn’t speak up, he doesn’t ask for what he wants. He feels bad. But he’s in this wheelchair and you know, he looks up to you for having the confidence that you do. So I met with this kid and I said, listen, you feel like your disobey your personality is because you don’t have a choice because your disability because you feel like people are alienating you. You feel like you are different. You’re focusing on all the things that suck about having a disability. And the thing that reason why you looking up to me and the reason why I’m doing a lack here in school and where, why I’m gonna go places and like is cause I’m focused on all the wonderful things that this disability brings. For instance, when I roll into a room, everybody remembers me.

Everybody looks at me and it burns an image in their mind because it’s so radically different than what everybody else looks like. And that is gold. That makes me sticky in people’s minds. And in business we call that really good marketing. So Mike Container I felt like was a genetic advantage for being memorable in people’s minds. And then if I was able to, and I, and I figured it out, if I was able to create an experience where people enjoy being in my company, linked with being very sticky in their mind of somebody that they’re not going to forget because of the model t of what I look like, this could have a lasting impact where people want to spend time with me. They can’t forget me. Years later, they’re still going to remember my name. I just ran into some kid at a local sports bar.

I was watching a football game and he was like, Sean. And I was like, yeah. And he’s like, do you remember me? And I was like, no, I’m sorry I don’t. He’s like, oh, I went to grade school with you. And I’m thinking, dude, you went to grade school with me. I look the same, basically that I did maybe a little, it made a little more wrinkled and less hair, but you could spot me in the crowd from grade school and just like you could now this kid, I had no idea it was so he mentioned his name and I was like, Oh yeah, well I remembered his name. But that’s the genetic advantage to one of the many genetic advantages to these containers is that it made me memorable. That stuck in people’s minds. So when you create an atmosphere where people enjoy being around you, that gives you a huge advantage in life. You know, nobody wants to spend time with the feel sorry for me crowd. Nobody wants to feel, nobody wants to spend time with the angry, bitter. The world sucks. I hate this. It only kind of people that want to spend time with that or people that are like that. The average person wants to be positive and happy. They’re going to naturally, energetically be repelled by that lower frequency attitude.

Uh, is Sean, do you, would you recommend anybody out there to cover themselves in honey to become more sticky or is that a, is that a move? Doors move

then roll yourself in M&Ms I would recommend them.

Oh, that’s a g c o c five nation. You’re welcome. Yeah, I’ll come on that one. John, I want to ask is because your book, uh, is, is very sticky. It’s a book that if people have not purchased your book, get off your butt. How to end self sabotage. They really do need to pick up this book. Now, this book was actually endorsed by Tony Robbins and if somebody does a little bit of Internet searching for your name, Sean Stephenson, they’re going to find you pictures of you with, with a Richard Branson, you and Tony Robinson. I mean your, you are like a picture with him. We need to wait. Wait, where are you? What state do you live in there, Sean and in Arizona, Arizona. Well,Z , that’s just a short hop. Skipping up. Fly a plane. Just a plane. So how did you, you first meet a Tony Robbins, how did that, how did that relationship first start?

When I was in high school, uh, I got asked by this guy, and it was just, I was, gosh, where was I? I was at a conference and this guy came up to me and said, you know, I work with the make-a-wish foundation and you have a lifelong disability. Have you ever thought about requesting a riff, a wish? And I said, well, I’m not dying. I thought those were just for dying kids in. And he’s like, no. And also is for people that have lifelong disabilities that are, you know, are you the on or you under the age of 18? And I believe I was, um, and he said, if he could do anything, where would you do? Who would you want to meet? Where would you want to go? And I’d always been drawn to Tony Robbins watching his infomercials as a kid and thinking, man, this guy’s got just such a great attitude and such a cool outlook on life. So I said, I’d like to meet Tony Robbins. And a few months later I was hanging out one on one with him in a hotel in Florida after one of his events and we became close friends. And that’s Kinda how all that started.

Well, let me ask you this. What

kind of impact has his positivity made in your life? Like how has, how has his mindset impacted you? Oh, it’s huge. Uh, you know, there’s a, there’s only one Tony Robbins and he is the, uh, the Michael Jordan of the industry. And that’s why I always wanted to be the Kobe Bryant, you know, the one that emulated, yeah, I get that within one ring of use. Yeah. So even Tony had a huge impact because Tony was very much the person that said, Jay, you, you’re responsible for your reality. And if you don’t like who you are, it’s your responsibility to change that. If you don’t like what you have, it’s your responsibility to do something new with that. And he also lives the biggest influence of why I became a professional speaker. It was Tony Robbins, Les Brown and Wayne Dyer that shaped the course of my life.

Now you have mentioned the word, the phrase containers a few times on today’s interview. And for the listeners out there who are going, what’s a container? Can you break down what you mean by container?

Well, we all have a body, right? And the body is shaped differently depending on our genetic structure and what we do with it. And I call my body a container because it’s, it’s something that’s holding my, my passion, my purpose, my spirit, my attitude. I don’t believe that my container defines me. I think it allows me to navigate the world, but it doesn’t make up who I am, you know? And I think a lot of people who are confined by their body, they don’t like how it looks. They don’t like the color of this skin or the way their body is shaped or that how their voice sounds or what their hair looks like or whatever. They, they pick apart their appearance and yet they’re forgetting. It’s just the container you’re in this time, you know, I look at my body is kind of like a, an Uber.

I’m very grateful for the ride. I’m glad to be here. I don’t, I don’t get out of bed and say, God, here’s this, that, you know, there’s discipline disabled, Barrio. Again, I gotta deal with this and why I didn’t write an I get a normal body at a young age. I did see that, you know, I’m, I made a list of all the things that I wanted to do and experience and none of the things that I wanted to do and experience. Uh, we’re gonna be held back because of my disability. They were going to be, uh, maybe make me have to go round about ways and have to get very clean. But I realized I wanted love and I wanted to be happily in a relationship with a woman in my dreams. I wanted to make money and be able to provide myself to, uh, be independently wealthy. I wanted to be able to travel. I wanted great friends. I wanted to make an impact on this planet. And nothing of those five things couldn’t be possible just because of the containment I was in. And so I’ve just always gone out and I’ve looked for, what is it about my containers that I love? What is it about my containers that makes me unique? What is it about my container that I can appreciate today?

You know, a Paul Hood, our, our show sponsor. He doesn’t, here’s a question for you Paul. I get them on to you. I do. Hey Sean. All right, I’ll tell you it’s an honor to talking to you. A Clay Clark through his thrive time and Dr Z, they introduced me at, you know, to, to all kinds of people and, and I, you know, all the college, if I went to college for the rest of my life, it, I wouldn’t gain as much knowledge and practical application as I do talking to people like you. Um, one of the other guys who’s brought in was a guy named Michael Levine, and Michael Levine says, success in life is how you play the cards you’re dealt. If you’re born on third base, you didn’t hit a triple. So my question is you is how do you, you know, as a counselor or an advisor to people, how do you not just laugh every time you talk to people when they start telling you their problems? I mean, how the you, you are an over overcome or I love that. No excuses. You can do anything that you want to do. So how do you have a cause? I think one of the biggest strengths I’m hearing is the compassion. You have one other people question. So how do you maintain that compassion when you just want to say, shut up

and, and that’s the thing. I, being in my container and having my, my life history, I can say I have a tremendous amount of empathy for pain and an empathy for challenges and struggles. And some of the concepts that I’ve come across in the things that I’ve learned. One is I believe that everybody is doing the best they can with the tools they have. Some people just have some crappy tools and they need to upgrade the tools. I also believe that if I had to have their body, their past experiences, their worldview, I would be no further along than they are. Um, and I also believe that, you know, by me just having that attitude of like, get over it, look what I have to go through, that’s just gonna put them further behind, they’re going to feel worse. It’s not gonna inspire them. People have to come upon realization themselves. You can’t force awakening into somebody’s life. You can only invite them. You can only with them. You can only be the example to them. So a big part of why I probably exude this attitude of, hey, you’re gonna get it when you’re gonna get it, is because I’ve learned the alternative doesn’t work. I tried to drag people kicking and screaming into being more responsible into being a more loving and to being more successful. And you just can’t. You can only be the example.

That’s awesome. I wanna I want to deep dive into

your book because your book has so many knowledge bombs and we have so little time. So I want to see if I can get into some of the lessons. And in your book you break down these six lessons that, uh, I think the listeners could really benefit from, from, so we’ll go, we’ll fire through a few of them here. Um, lesson one, start connecting. What is this section of your book all about?

Well, connecting is different than communicating. You know, digital devices can communicate. That’s just an exchange of information, whereas connection is an exchange of humanity. It’s exchange of emotion. And it’s important that we connect with other people there. Uh, literally and I talk about it in the book at some point. Uh, you can save someone’s life sometimes by just asking them how their day is and smiling and telling them you appreciate the time that you, that with them because it can change the trajectory of their decisions. They can feel like somebody saw them, that they were, they were seen and observed and cared for. And the ripple effect of that is pretty amazing. Uh, connecting is about getting to know the other person cause it’s easy. And I get into this trap too. Uh, it’s easy to just want to talk about yourself. It’s easy because that’s your wheelhouse.

Like you know what you think, you know what you’ve done, you know what you’ve experienced and it’s sometimes scary to get into an interaction with another human being and not talk about yourself. But I strongly recommend that connecting there in order to connect you make sure that your equally requesting information about their life as much as you are sharing information about your life. Another thing right now when it comes to connecting is don’t act like you know what somebody else is going through. I really, I don’t, I don’t think that works. When you tell somebody, oh I know what you’re going through. Like let’s say you had a funeral and somebody dad just died and you say, I know what you’re going through. My Dad died when I was 10 and then you think you’re helping that person. But I’ve pulled a lot of people in those scenarios and ask questions and that’s not what makes people feel good.

What makes people feel good is asking them, well how are you dealing with this? What are you, what are you feeling? Tell me everything. What, what’s, what are some of the things that are coming through your head right now and, and then offering, you know, when I was younger, uh, my dad died and it’s sad and I don’t know what emotions you might be going through, but here’s how I dealt with mine. And you can achieve so much more by doing some excavation, doing some investigation work and get to know their reality plenty before you ever share yours,

you and your book. Lesson five, you talk about choosing your friends wisely. You right? Choose your friends wisely. I love for you to break down what you mean by this and why this is so important.

So studies and proving over and over that there’s a lot of conditions in our life that influence our level of success or level of happiness or uh, income. So many different attributes. Uh, but the biggest is who you hang out with, uh, your friend base. And the reason why that is, is your friend base has influence over you. Whether you like it or not, you become like those you surround yourself with and when your having a bad day and your contemplating doing something stupid or contemplating doing something harmful or, or being negative and you share that with somebody in your peer group. If they say, yeah, that’s probably a good idea, you belly should do that

burning down, burn our [inaudible], burn it down. That’s not a good thing.

Versus them saying, Hey, hey, come on now the you’re, you’re going through a tough time right now. Let me remind you who you are, remind you what you’ve done. Maybe remind you why you got started in this. Fill in the blank business family relationship in the first place. And like that is a positive and empowering. Uh, example for you. They’re going to lift you up. And I’m, I’m convinced that if you continue to get into dirty water, you’ll never come out clean. And that’s why our friends have such influence because when we’re having a bad day, we turn to our friends and our friends unconsciously or are influencing us. That’s why anytime I want to improve an area of my life, I will turn to their friends in that area of my life that I have better understanding and success and results with that and I’ll spend more time with those people if I need to get in better shape. I turned to the friends that are in great shape and ideally I want all my friends to take their health seriously. I, if I want to learn more about investing in creating wealth, I turn to the brands that really have that area as dialed in and you become like those you surround yourself with. That’s why you have to be very careful who you let into your life. I’m convinced, and this might sound a bit extreme, but one negative person in your life can be rail your destiny. One negative person

wait was saying, I want, I want to see, I want, I want a Shaun to restate that, that this is, this is powerful. Shuck. Can you restate that one more time?

Sure. When you are around these people, if you have one person that is negative, that is putting garbage and toxicity into your brain and that you are exposing yourself to, they can totally derail your destiny. You can totally miss the mark for why you were put here.

Yeah, that is, that is not only do I think that, that comment that, that, that statement, um, although people may perceive it as is to be controversial. I think that right there is the number one situation plugging anybody out there listening to today’s show who’s not getting success. It’s cause it’s, you’re, you’re surrounding yourself with idiots or you are plugging someone in your life by being an idiot. Yeah. A little. Right. But yeah, typically, I know there’s been times in my life where I was the idiot and I’m like, is it cool if I pee in the pool guys? I mean, you know what I mean? Just a little bit of pee in the pool. I mean, it’s gonna be a figure to idea pool. You know what I mean? Now there’s people I remember in college z I hung out with guys who literally would talk about the gas stations that you could steal gas from, where you wouldn’t get busted. Oh look like it was some kind of life hack. Yeah. Okay. So you know, you have a question

pretty darn Sean. I wow. What a fascinating story. What an inspiring story and I, and, and it just goes to show you that, uh, no matter what container you have, the sky’s the limit. Right. I’m kind of curious, I’m kinda curious as to, um, a couple of questions actually, but if you could go back in time, this is one of my favorite,

if you can turn back time, dude,

both Gotcha. And talk to yourself. Say when you’re, you’re 39 now, so let’s go back 20 years and you’re 19. What would, you walked in the room and there you are, and you walk up to yourself and give yourself daily whatever you wanted to say. Self. Let me tell you something. What would you, what would you say to yourself?

I would say don’t go to that Fraternity Party when you turn 20. Right.

We all would say that we go, that’s the best answer I’ve gotten so far. I love it now. No, wait, you’re not. The other thing too is what was the lowest point in your life and how did you dig out of that hole?

[inaudible] 2017. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. And Eh, I went through a business challenge and with a business partner of mine and we had been working together for a very long time and I realized that it was time for me to go my own way and I knew it was going to be really hard for them and for this person and breaking off. He was a, it was a business divorce. And then if you’ve ever gotten any kind of divorce, whether it’s business or relationship, it’s painful and you have to split everything up and, and there’s hurt and you feel like this jerk and then it becomes, um, you know, you can get into a battle and it did, it went legal direction. And next thing I know it was involved in a lawsuit and it was, it was so hard, wow. And painful. Um, and yet I will say I have never grown as a man emotionally and spiritually as deep and as accelerated as I did during that period in my life.

That’s awesome. Sean, I have two final questions for I wanna respect your time. Two final questions for you and I hate two part questions cause it’s Kinda hard to, I, it’d be hard for me to answer two questions so I’m going to go one at a time here. Question number one, is there a book out there outside of your book and in addition to your book, is there a book out there that you’d say Mr Entrepreneur or Mrs, potential entrepreneurs, someone listening, this is the one book in addition to my book that I think that you should read. Is there, is there one book that you said that book really changed my life and every entrepreneur out there should definitely check this book out.

Yeah, I would say the war of art by Steven Pressfield because that’s a book that I could reread every year and still get value from. It’s about that creative resistance that rises up that stops us from playing big, the creative resistance that rises up from facing rejection and building out areas of our life that we know we’re capable of. But we’re gonna face some challenging, darker times maybe, but going through it anyway. That book had a huge impact on my life.

Now, Andrew, for accountability right now, while we’re on this show, I’d like you to purchase a copy of Sean’s book. Get off your butt, how to end self sabotage and stand up for yourself so I can add it to my collection so I can check that. I want to make sure we buy this book. We own this book. He’s going to buy it. Sean, while we’re still on the today show and see, I know a lot of our listeners are going to do it too. Why wouldn’t they? Well, you know a lot of people say, get off your butt. What we’re saying. I want to do it, but I have carpal tunnel syndrome, but I’ll click, I’ll go ahead. I’ll push through the pain, push through the pain, push through the pain, the pain by the book. Everybody out there, bottom up, we’re going buy him up.

Purchase you. Your order has been placed. Now leave a confirmed Amazon resume or an Amazon review explaining how what a great mentor this guy has been to our listening audience. Okay, got it. Make sure that happens. Okay. Now final question I have for you is how do you organize, how do you structure their first four hours of a typical day in your life? I think it’s so important that we start a day off successfully. We plan our day. Everybody we’ve interviewed who is intentional about their life seems to have a routine or a plan. How do you organize the first four hours of your day and what time do you wake up?

Alright, so I have something, I don’t know, you can tell me if it’s appropriate to share with your audience, but I have a gift on this topic for your listeners. Can I share it? Yeah, sure. Sharon? Yeah. Okay. So would recommend they go to the unstoppable the unstoppable I have, I have a course that I put together there. Everybody that’s listening right now they can get absolutely free of charge and it is a breakdown of what that day looks like. How do I put it together and specifically what are you going to need to implement in your life so that you are unstoppable with your schedule and your purpose and your environment. Because that’s, those are the three basic areas of life is self care, life purpose and empowering environment. And I break all that down in detail at the unstoppable formula that come.

But I can just tell you right now, I go through phases with my uh, my bedtime and wake time. Sometimes I’ve gone to more like seasons. Sometimes I like getting up at 5:00 AM and just getting so much done before the day begins. And then there are other times where I’m with like, you know what, I’m going to be a little bit more a self care based and get a little extra sleep and I might sleep in til nine o’clock in the morning. So I don’t, I don’t agree with the mentality that uh, the time of day determines your success. I think it’s more about the, the ritual that you stick to. You know, I’m a big believer that uh, in this earth intrepreneurial hustle game world that is being constantly pumped and promoted, uh, the mentality of I’ll sleep when I die is actually killing people and it’s accelerating the browsers.

Z, you, you own a diagnostic sleep center. How many hours do you think the average listener should be sleeping per day? Depends on their age, but eight hours is a good target. Eight hours. Um, the younger you are, the actually the more you need an infant sleeps much more than that. And the older you are, if you’re 90, if you sleep like an hour cause you avoid you, you know that many pre-shopping days left at Christmas. So you want to shop as much as your cans. Yeah. The older you get, exactly, the less sleep you need technically. But I mean, eight is a good target. And for people that come up to me and some hours sleep like three hours, that’s all I need is three hours a day. I go, you’re killing yourself. You work. You are technically, I mean that’s,

that’s the challenge is a lot of people learn how to prop themselves up with caffeine and then put themselves to sleep with wine at night. And that’s your lane. You’re living in a trance. You’re not fully present, you’re not fully clear and, and sharped. And that, that’s why I have a set of rituals. I explain it at the unstoppable formula that come and the one of the rituals is consistent, restful sleep. Because I know if I’m not getting that, I’m not good to anyone. My activity, productivity and performance and I, and my overall calling in life, it messes with your brain chemistry. And I like to set my brain chemistry up to win. You know, we, we live in a generation where everybody thinks that, oh, I need to take some kind of pill in order to influence my, my brain chemistry. And yet there are times when that’s necessary, but oftentimes it’s how you were living your life. It’s your rituals, it’s your mindset. It’s who you’re hanging out with.

Show we’d like to end every show here with, with a boom, which stands for big, overwhelming, optimistic momentum. So essentially as the, let’s get a role play real quick here. We would say guys, three, two, one, boom, and then actually physically say a boom. We would physically say the book. Are you? Are you prepared to physically bring the boom, Mr Shawn? Oh, always call it. Are you ready to read the by him? Andrew, are you ready? I’m so ready. Dr Z. Are you ready? I might’ve been prebiotic. Mike. John, are you ready to bring the boom?

Okay, there we go. Here we go. Yeah.


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