So You Have a Business, but How Do You Build a Dream Life

Business Coach | Ask Clay & Z Anything

Audio Transcription

In this episode, business coach, Clay Clark teaches the fundamental steps to building your dream life while juggle all of life’s demands.  Clay, along with Momtrepreneurs, Vanessa Clark and Sharita Bent, have learned the hard way to navigate life’s battles and have built their own dream lives.

The Business Coach Provides Tips To Build Your Dream Life : Podcast Transcript

Announcer: And now, broadcasting from the center of the universe and the world headquarters, presenting the world’s only business school without the B.S. with Optometrist and Entrepreneur Dr. Robert Zoellner and the former Small Business Administration Entrepreneur of the Year in your ear, Clay Clark. It’s the Thrive Time Show on Talk Radio 1170. Three, two, one, boom.

Clay Clark: All right Thrive Nation, welcome back to the inspiration station. It’s the Thrive Time Show during your drive time home. It’s a magical Monday and we are talking today about how to start or grow a business, as always, and specifically we’re talking about, so you have a business, but how do you build a dream life? Again this idea that, so you built a business, but how do you build your dream life?

To make this all happen and to make sure we have an epic show today, as we always do but today could be potentially the best show we’ve ever had. We brought on the hostess with the mostest, Ms. Sharita Bent. How are you?

Sharita Bent: I’m fabulous.

Clay: And we brought on my incredible wife, my life coach, the mother of five kids, the herder of chicken, she’s a chicken herder, free range chickens no less. It’s my incredible wife, Mrs. Vanessa Clark. How are you?

Vanessa Clark: I’m doing good. I have a little bit of a hoarse voice but I’m on the upside, I’m coming back from no voice, so, doing better.

Clay: Pretty much tracking it home there in your car, you’re tracking — she has a hoarse voice and she raises chickens, very organic of you.

Vanessa: Yes, out on the range.

Clay: She got that Joan Rivers kind of sultry thing going on here.

Vanessa: I know you kind of like it so I just keep it up.

Clay: And I will tell you and if anyone who can smell us live right now on Facebook Live, if you’re on Facebook Live and you can smell the show, we have a fire, we’re at the man cave, we got some fire burning out there and really, Sharita you and I were talking about this, burning things is therapeutic, is it not?

Sharita: Definitely, it’s healing, it’s cleansing.

Vanessa: You all love it.

Clay: I do.

Sharita: I do.

Clay: I just wanted a campfire moment here, and so Thrivers we’re going to get into this campfire discussion together. It’s, so you built a dream business but how do you build a dream life? You see, so many of us want to have a successful life but we don’t want to take the time, or we haven’t taken the time, maybe we haven’t been show what to do to have a successful life. I’m going to give you some statistics that I know you’re going to want to write down and before you write them down I know you’re going to want to know where they came from. Tom Corley, a guy by the name of Tom Corley, he is a bestselling author and he is referenced on Dave Ramsey’s website, Dave Ramsey the financial peace guy?

Sharita: Yes.

Clay: Tom Corley, he studied rich people and he wrote a book called The Habits of the Rich and what I’m going to do is, I’m going to read these to you, when I read these to you I just want you to slowly marinate and rotisserie, rotate on them and Sharita is going to pontificate as we sort of go one by one. I’m going to read it and Sharita is going to pontificate, give you her reaction to it and we’re just going to discuss this campfire Monday here on the Thrive Time Show.

Here we go, mystic statistic number one from Tom Corley in his book The Habits of the Rich, he says this, “67% of wealthy watch one hour or less of TV every day versus 23% of the poor people.” 67% of wealthy people are watching TV for only one hour a day or less. Is that shocking to you Ms. Sharita?

Sharita: It’s not to me because personally I don’t watch very much TV, but I’m going to play devil’s advocate for most people who probably do enjoy watching TV and just challenge you and say, hey just try to cut out 30 minutes, try to cut out one hour or just try to pull it back.

Vanessa: Just be intentional about what you are watching. Don’t just keep it on all the time as a background ambiance but say, “You know what, this is a show I’d like to watch”.

Sharita: Yes.

Clay: I heard a statement made years ago by one of my mentors, a guy by the name of Clifton Talbert, and if you’ve ever got a chance to meet Clifton, he’s just such a voice of wisdom and he’s just such a great guy. He’s just so nice, he’s so kind and he was one of the first — he was the first African American to open up a bank west of the Mississippi. He did so well that his life was made into a movie called Once Upon a Time When We Were Colored and his life is epic, it was turned into a movie, literally it was turned into a movie. Clifton is a great guy and I got a chance to meet him and he said something to me years ago and I’m paraphrasing, so Clifton if I’m butchering the quote I apologize, but he said, “Clay, rich people have big libraries and poor people have big TVs” and I remembering going, “My TV is not that big, you know.”


Clay: But this was back in the day where if you bought a big TV, it was heavy. It was thick.

Sharita: Yes. I remember that.

Vanessa: A Dinosaur.

Clay: A big old thing, so Vanessa was like, “Can we get rid of,” — It was like a Magna Box.

Vanessa: I remember everyone had the flat screens and we still had all these big dinosaurs and we’re moving and I’m hiding them in our attic, calling Sharita, “You think I can throw it away now? He’ll find out”.

Clay: But my wife knows how I am, I’m everything, I’m all in or all out to a detriment.

Vanessa: Keep it forever.

Clay: I decided what I’m going to do is I’m going to turn off the TV that we didn’t know, we didn’t watch TV at all for –

Vanessa: No, we didn’t watch TV, but we had TVs. We didn’t watch them. We kept them in our attic.

Clay: But I’m like, “I’m going to have this pretty decent sized TV but I’m not going to watch it,” because Clifton was pointing out to me, you have to find time to read.

Sharita: Sure, we went through that too at our house. We turned our cable off and everybody thought we were crazy.

Clay: There’s a book on my desk over there, it’s a white covered book. Do you see that thing? It’s like a designing your life book journal. It’s buried under some stuff, maybe you don’t see it. We’ll talk about it after the break. But it’s a book I’m working my way through now. It’s all about designing your life. You got the Self Motivation Book by Jim Cathcart, that’s a good book there. Here it is, here is the book. What is that book called, that I’m reading right now?

Sharita: Okay. It’s called Designing Your Life. It says How to Build a Well-Lived Joyful Life and it’s by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans.

Clay: I got that book because the guy who wrote the book there called Designing Your Life, he is actually an engineer who designs products and he said, “When you design a product, it’s not an emotional thing, you just say, I want this product to solve this problem. I want this product to do this thing,” and he says, “Designing your life is the same way.” You just go through hour by hour in your day and you say, “What do I want to — how do I want my life to work? How do I want my schedule to work?” –

Sharita: I think you need to say that again, because that’s really good.

Clay: He’s like, “How do I want to design my life? How do I want my life to work?” He’s a Stanford Engineer and he explained that he was very — he worked a lot, he made a lot of money, very unhappy and he started going, “What are the things that make me happy?” He decided to schedule time for those things and his whole life began to change. Yes Vanessa?

Vanessa: What you’re saying is, it’s a conscious decision. Your life just doesn’t happen, you consciously decide and not deciding is even a decision. You decide the life you want and then you make it happen.

Clay: Yes, and I will just tell you these statistics, when you hear them some of them can be like, “That seems pretty intense bro.” But here’s another statistic from Tom Corley’s book. He says, “44% of wealthy wake up three hours before work starts versus 3% of the poor.” Now, I have a story I want to share with you. We have a guy in our office named ‘The Turtle,’ I call him ‘The Turtle Mane.’

Sharita: That’s a good name.

Clay: Because there’s a rapper named Gucci Mane, I call him Turtle Mane and he’s always wearing like a –

Vanessa: Blanket.

Clay: – a blanket.

Sharita: Yes, I love it. He looks like a royal ruler.

Vanessa: You must mention that it is like below freezing in that office.

Clay: It’s a meat locker in that office.

Vanessa: It is.

Clay: Here’s the deal. The Turtle Mane, he grew up in the desert, he’s always got that blanket on and I’m giving him a lot of extra projects right now because I see in him the potential for greatness. I see it. We had a great talk to him. We had a kind of coming to Jesus moment. I’m not Jesus, I guess, a coming to a pale faced man-bear-pig moment. We talked and he goes, “Do you really see something in me? Do you really?” and I go, “Yes, absolutely.” But it’s a deal where I see that work ethic, and that work ethic, I see it because of the time that he shows up to work, and if it’s before the required time, then — so we were joking the other day but we get to work and Eric is up there, Eric Chep is one of our producers, he’s up there and Marshall’s up there, I’m up there. There’s like a whole gaggle of us up there working, and the thing is if you want to successful and you don’t want to cut into your family time, you just have to start earlier. This is a big, big idea. Now Sharita, you manage people.

Sharita: I do.

Clay: You lead our 9:00 AM morning huddles.

Sharita: Sure.

Clay: How often are you tipped off, are you kind of tipped with the secrets out, the person in the morning huddle has woken up about 27 minutes before 9:00 and they got in that car, they drove as fast as possible and they look like they just woke up.

Sharita: Yes, it happens and you can tell, it’s puffy eyes and bed head and you’re trying to work it like you’re just chilled but everybody can tell. You didn’t wash your face. [laughs]

Clay: I’m going to tell you, this is a habit of the rich, you say, “How do I become successful?”. One, turn off that TV. Two, get up at least three hours before work starts. Ms. Vanessa.

Vanessa: I’d like to ask about that, practically speaking for our listeners when you get up three hours before, work what does that look like? What are you doing with your time now? You’re up three hours, you’re gung ho, you’re ready to go and –

Sharita: What do you do?

Clay: One of the issues we had with our business, one of our businesses, was called Epic Photography and I noticed a lot of brides were visiting the website, there’s a tool called Lucky Orange which you can embed on your website. It allows you to — It’s like a tool little pixel, it allows you to see how many people are on the site and I’m noticing a lot of people are on the site but not a lot of people were calling us. So I’m going, “Okay, that’s an issue.” Well, I noticed the issue during the day so I send myself an email, in the morning I’m going to block it out and I’m going to think about it for like an hour. I was thinking about it, I’m going, what we have to do is we got to make it a no-brainer for the bride. You got to say guaranteed will beat any competitor’s price by 30%. But I didn’t have that answer like two seconds, it wasn’t easy. I literally was going, how am I going to get the people on the site to convert?

I thought about it for like an hour and Vanessa will walk in the morning sometime and sometime she walks in the room and I’m immediately scared.

Sharita: She’s told me this.

Vanessa: I’m not trying to be scary. I’m not trying to scare anyone. I’m just doing normal things.

Clay: Normal things like walking in a man cave.

Sharita: He’s in the zone, like he’s really focused.

Vanessa: He’s in the zone, but what I like to point out is what you’re saying, is that, three hours for you is dedicated to deep thinking, to being able to — you have this life plan to get the answers where during the day you’re having to be more reactive, right?

Clay: We’ll work on the business not in the business. You’re right. During the day it’s more of a get-it-done alpha reactive go-go-go but also like planning out like my daughter’s birthday party. I like to make epic parties or no party, that’s my deal.

Vanessa: But you didn’t have that time. When would it happen? You’d be in reactionary mode all the time.

Clay: I like to put my hoodie on and I like to put the hood on.

Sharita: I love the –

Vanessa: Amazon Brady hat.

Clay: Amazon Brady hat, and so I have blinders on and my wife will walk in and I’m looking at the screen, and I’m jamming out and I’m like [screams] every time. She walks in, it kind of scares me. Now Thrivers when we come back though, we’re going to get into this first action item. We have five action steps to help you change your life, five action steps. When we come back, we’re going to get into this action item number one. But before we go to the break, I’m going to give you one more step to kind of marinade on.

84% of wealthy people, 84% of wealthy people believe that good habits create luck, versus 4% of poor people. 84% of wealthy people believe that good habits create good luck. Stay tuned to the Thrive Time Show.

Announcer: This show is brought to you by Adobe Creative Cloud. If you’re a photographer, graphic designer, video editor, pod-caster, business owner or just creative genius, this is for you. All of your creative tools, all in one place. Creative Cloud includes the entire collection of creative apps for desktop from favorites like Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator to new tools like Adobe Experience Design. Check this out you can create podcasts seamlessly in high quality with Adobe Audition.

Did you miss the exposure or looking to create a stunning and beautiful photo? You got to download light room okay. The latest release of Adobe Creative Cloud is here with incredible new features in Adobe Photoshop Illustrator and all of your favorite apps plus millions of Adobe stock assets and new premium images are built right in. You can turn your brightest ideas into your best work, fast. Make sure that you check out Adobe Creative Cloud, that’s Once again, Adobe Creative Cloud at

Live, local, now, you’re listening to the Thrive Time Show on Talk Radio 1170.

Clay: Hello Thrive nation and welcome back to the man cave. It’s the Thrive Time Show during your drive time home on talk radio 1170. Today we’re talking about a subject that I could not be more passionate about. It is the subject of, hey, so you built a business, but have you built the life you want? That’s the question we’re asking today. We’re going to give you five specific steps to do that.

Five specific action steps to really create that lifestyle that you’ve been wanting to create. But before we do that, I’m trying to help you contrast maybe what you’re doing. Maybe not you, probably other people, what other people are doing versus what the rich are doing. I know you’re doing what the rich people are doing and other people aren’t doing it. It’s going to help us bring a fair and balanced perspective to this entire program. We brought on the hostess with the moistest, Ms. Sharita Bent. How are you Ms. Sharita?

Sharita: I’m great.

Clay: We brought on my incredible wife of 15 years, unbelievable she’s like a just a beautiful –

Sharita: An artifact.

Clay: No, she’s like a beautiful radiant queen of majestic awesomeness, mother of five kids.

Sharita: Queen of the ranch.

Clay: Queen of the ranch, Mrs. Vanessa Clark. How are you?

Vanessa: I’m doing good and no more coughing fits, so I can be here on the air with you.

Clay: Yes, you got that old Joan Rivers voice nailed down and really working on Joan Rivers, “My Joan Rivers impersonation, it’s great.”

Vanessa: It was just for the show.

Clay: Here’s the deal. We’re talking about these habits of the rich that are written about so eloquently in Tom Corley’s book called The Habits of the Rich. Tom Corley best, selling author featured on Dave Ramsey’s website. He says this, “84% of wealthy people believe that good habits create opportunity and luck versus 4% of the poor.” That’s a pretty big number shark.

Sharita: It is, it’s really big and I think a lot of times people we may have this kind of like pie in the sky attitude of just like I’m going to be just sitting here or walking along and then boom, it’s going to happen. But I don’t think it typically happens that way, right?

Clay: I’m going to say this. This is one thing we tend to do and it’s not a racial thing. It’s not a — it’s just a who-you’re-around thing. What happens is if you’re around people that are — let’s say you’re an Asian guy and you’re listening right now and you’re like, “What? Why do you talk about Asians?” Or you’re a Hispanic guy, you’re a white guy, whoever you’re around, that’s going to dictate what your normal is. That becomes — so in my office, you walk in there, it’s like a meat lock, it’s like 60 degrees. Today was like 57 degrees. It was so cold that my body went into a hypothermic –

Vanessa: You love it, you love it.

Sharita: I love it too.

Clay: I like cold but today was a little bit colder than I was comfortable with and the only person I told, I said, “John, it’s like a meat locker in here. Hold me, Jack, froze.”

Sharita: We need a theme song, Baby I like it cold [laughs].

Clay: It was really, I mean because the thing is that with a cold weather is beginning to happen, we have that thing set at 60, but even all I’m saying is that the door — the normal in that office is about 60 degrees. Now if you crank that up to 70,

“Oh my God, it’s so hot. It’s like a desert in here,” because I’m used to a certain temperature.

Some of you are growing up right now, you’re working and you’re around a certain temperature where certain things are normal to you and I’m trying to give you a new normal and it might seem a little bit hot, might seem a little bit cold, might seem a little bit abnormal, but 84% of wealthy people believe that your good habits create their luck.

Now another final statistics I want to give you. 86% of wealthy people, I’m going to go off here, 86% of wealthy people believe in lifelong education and self-improvement versus 5% of the poor.

Now, here’s an example, Google has announced as of April of last year, they sent out an announcement, they said, “Hey, if your website isn’t mobile compliant, your score will be affected.” Basically if you’re topping Google, if you’re searching on Google and a website comes up top and it looks nasty on a mobile phone, they’re going to move it down.

Sharita: Yes.

Clay: I know a ton of business owners specifically, I’m thinking of like right now maybe a dozen or more that I know, that are my friends who said, “It’s too complicated. I’m not going to make an adjustment,” and they dropped like a rock, to the bottom of page two, page three.

Vanessa: Loosing there yellow pages spot basically.

Clay: Yes, as a result of refusing to change. It’s a lifelong education process as the Canadians call it ‘The process.’ You must be committed to lifelong education. A lot of people are getting a degree and then they go, “I’m done.” But you’ve got to learn. I’m going to pick on Sharita here –

Sharita: Sure.

Clay: – in a positive way, but you started — I’ve worked with you, I mean I was doing cheer mix music when I was 18, 19 and you were like 20, 22.

Sharita: Yes, we all go way back.

Clay: I’ve known you since Old Roberts University. But here you are, you are 35 now, you’re 36?

Sharita: You know.

Clay: You’re 30-something, probably 27. Anyway, so she’s coming up to the office and she’s diligent.

Vanessa: I like say I brought her up there.

Clay: You did.

Sharita: Yes, she did.

Clay: She’s diligent, she’s hard-working and so I wanted her to become the search engine boss, amongst other things. How much did you know about search engines previous to doing it?

Sharita: I knew that like you searched on Google for things, [laughs] that’s all I knew, which is nothing about it.

Clay: Now, let’s have a conversation, let’s have a conversation real quick, just a little pop quiz.

Sharita: Sure.

Clay: How many words minimum do you want to have on a webpage if you’re writing an article?

Sharita: Like, one article?

Clay: Yes.

Sharita: You would want — we do a minimum of 500 which is more than Google requires.

Clay: Boom, see and then like if you’d explain to the Thrivers like what a title tag is, I mean, what is that?

Sharita: Sure, they are keywords that you use that are specific to your business. It’s like a nomenclature system that Google recognizes that helps you boost your rating.

Clay: One more pop quiz and I’m done. If you were to describe to the Thrivers what a slug or a permalink is, how would you describe that to a Thriver listening right now?

Sharita: Sure. That’s the address that pops up in the window when you go to like, or, but we have specific keywords that we embed in there for your business.

Clay: You go to, boom. It makes you up top in Google. These are things that you know now that you didn’t know before.

Sharita: Yes.

Clay: Where did you learn these things?

Sharita: Well, you told me to read this huge book. [laughs]

Clay: Yes. Search Engine for Dummies which is just brutal.

Sharita: Yes it is, and by the way I changed the word dummies to smarties because –

Clay: You should do that.

Sharita: I did. Then I had to learn from Jonathan Kelly. I asked him a lot of questions and learned from him. I learned a lot from you and just made my way.

Clay: Today you’re optimizing YouTube videos and this month, I don’t want to make up a number, but how many articles is our team doing? Is it thousands? Is it hundreds? Is it -?

Sharita: Oh my goodness. It’s thousands. It’s probably like 8,000 or 9,000 [unintelligible 00:20:07].

Clay: Our team is writing 8,000 or 9,000 articles in a given month, and you’re managing all that.

Sharita: Yes.

Clay: But months ago, you didn’t even know what it was.

Sharita: No.

Clay: Someone listening right now you’re going, “I’m trying to make money. I want to be a stay-at-home mom, and I need to make an extra 500 a week.” I promise you, this is my promise to you, if you go to or you email me us [email protected], you can come to one of our workshops, and I will teach you specifically how to become a search engine optimization expert and you can, for sure, as God is my witness, okay? You can make 500 bucks a week from home if you learn these moves.

This is something that didn’t exist a decade ago, but it is a big thing now. These are all moves that you can do, but you have to believe that ongoing education is a pre-requisite to success. You must believe in that.

Now, action item number one, which we’re going really dive into after the break, is define and clarify your personal F5 goals. The way I like to describe it to people is, life is a tornado. It’s pulling at you. Family is going, “You just got to come over to this event. It’s big. You got to be there.” Then work, you have faith, right? You’ve got faith. People at church, “You got to come up. On Wednesday night, we’ve got this big thing and on Tuesday, we’re preparing for Wednesday and on Monday we’re preparing for Tuesday and on Sunday, we have a Sunday night service and a Sunday morning service, and on Saturday night, we have this great party in the park.”

You have faith. You’ve got family. You’ve got finances. Endless bills to pay. You’ve got friendships. People going on Facebook who barely knew you from third grade going, “Donald Trump is terrible. Hillary Clinton got what she deserved.” You’re like, “What are you doing? Why are you–?” You’ve got faith, family, finances, friendships. You’ve got fitness, all these things pouring at you. We’re going to take the time to define where you want to be on those F5s, faith, family, finances, friendships, fitness, coming back after the break.

Announcer 1: Are you a business owner? You need to ask yourself right now, how are you backing up your files and important documents? Most businesses have no system for the files in their business. If this is you, you got to use Dropbox. At least, sign up for one of their 30 days free trials. Real talk, it’s the secure file sharing and storage solution that employees and IT administrators trust.

You get as much place as needed at no additional cost. You get unlimited file recovery and versioning, basically creating new versions, and valuable admin controls for secure sharing and collaboration with Dropbox for business. You got to check this out.

After using Dropbox, you’ll definitely feel more secure knowing that a virus or power surge can’t ruin your computer and your entire business. Try full access to Dropbox business for 30 days. Head over to to get started. Again, to get started.

You’re listening to the Thrive Time Show on Talk Radio 1170.

Clay: All right, Thrive nation, welcome back to your favorite station here. That’s the Tulsa’s only local business radio show during your drive time home. It’s your audio kind of dojo of mojo place where you go to get that business school without the BS.

Yes, my name is Clay Clark, the former SBA Entrepreneur of the Year in your ear. I’m joined hear with the hostess with the mostest Ms. Sharita Bent and my incredible wife for 15 years Mrs. Vanessa Clark. How are you?

Vanessa: I’m doing great.

Clay: How are you?

Sharita: I’m great. I wanted to scorn you back and black, every time.

Clay: Here’s the deal, we’re broadcasting for the man cave today, so if you log on Facebook Live and you can just smell the excellence. We have the fire burning outside. It’s just a beautiful, beautiful time in American history. Today we’re talking about, you have a business. You built a business. You’re building a business. You have built a business, but have you built that ideal life? Are you building that life that you want because the whole point of the business is to help you have a great life?

Action item number one is you must define and clarify your F5 goals, okay? Faith, family, finances, friendships, fitness, and finance. I have a song I’ve cued up here that’s indicative of what I think a lot of people feel like the goal they have to have in the area of finances. I’m going to go ahead and cue this up here. I like this song a lot. Here we go. This is Everybody Wants to Rule The World, Tears for Fear? Do you know this song?

Vanessa: Yes.

Clay: This song is great, Everybody Wants to Rule The World. That was the thing where you feel like in business you’re supposed to go there and dominate and take over the world, and you’re supposed to. But I’m challenging you if you’re listening right now, maybe you just want to be profitable and be in demand, and in fact more people want to work with you than what you can possibly handle and then you just go home.

Sharita: That’s good.

Vanessa: Have a sustainable lifestyle.

Clay: A very good friend of mine is in his 50s. I won’t give his name out because I haven’t got permission to do so about this particular situation. He says he never wants to get to work before 10:00, and he never wants to work after 2:00. A very good friend of ours that Vanessa and I know, he went to work for this man. He tells the man, he says, “Hey man, do you realize how many people are calling and wanting our services? We could do so much more business if we were open. I mean, if you ever got there before 10:00, that’d be awesome and if you ever stayed after 2:00, I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but people are calling after 2:00 and before 10:00.” And he’s like, “Hey, I really just want to spend time golfing every single day at 2:00 and to doing what I want to do. At no point does what I want to do involve doing anything after 2:00, so, no.”

Vanessa: He has very specific — I know he’s in really good shape. He has very specific goals for his family, for his fitness, for his friends. So really, I think for him it’s about balance. I really think it comes back to — I know when you talked about the 84% of wealthy believe good habits create luck.

A habit is basically a pre-requisite to opportunity. If he’s got to practice the habit of getting up and working out, or playing golf, or whatever, it’s going to give them the opportunity for a healthier life or whatever. The opportunity is not going to come without the habit in place.

Clay: Sharita, can you read this notable quotable from Carol Dweck here. She’s a Stanford professor who’s written a book called the Growth Mindset, which is a phenomenal book. It’s a new psychology of success but you’re going to give us the notable quotable she has for us here.

Sharita: Sure. In her book, she says, “Mindset change is not about picking up a few pointers here and there, it’s about seeing things in a new way. When people change to a growth mindset, they change from a judge and be judged framework to a learn and help learn framework.”

Clay: If you’re listening right now and you’re going, “You’re judging me. You’re telling me I’m watching too much TV.” No, I’m just asking you right now for the first time in your life for many people. Go ahead and get out a piece of paper and a pen and write down your F5 goals. For your faith, what is that? Somebody listening now will disagree with me, which is the good thing because that means you’re actually engaging your brain.

Faith, I can go to church on Sunday. I cannot go on Wednesday. I do not want o see you on Sunday night. I do not want to go to the potluck. I do not want to participate. I will go on Sunday. I will go to the first service because the second one goes on forever.

Vanessa: Maybe, for some people might it be some time in the morning, that three-hour period in the morning or two-hour. Maybe, it’s some quiet time for them for thought.

Clay: Second service is done right before 6:00 PM. Nothing starts at 11:00 and goes on. I’m being serious. I like to go to the first service. Someone else goes, “I like to go on Sunday night and Saturday.” A very good friend of mine goes every Saturday night. He goes on Sunday. He goes on Wednesday. For me, that’s not a thing, but for him, it’s a thing.

Sharita: Here’s what I want to say too. If you’re watching on Facebook Live, you can see this, but if you’re listening, I want them to know, and Vanessa you can see this too, his conviction when he’s saying these things.

Vanessa: I know [laughs].

Sharita: You have to have that. But I want to point that out, you have to have this principled conviction, right?

Vanessa: I think you have to know what’s right for you.

Sharita: Yes.

Vanessa: Like he said, that might be right for him but for someone else it’s like, “Okay, I need –“ For me, I’ve got to get up in the morning, every morning and I go to my sites. I read the biblical verse they put out. I go to the Bible. I read my verses. For me, I have to know, okay, this is my truth. This is what God says. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says. For me, that’s how I spiritually grow myself. I think everyone is going to be different.

Sharita: Yes.

Clay: You talked about faith and your family goals. For me, I’ve always told Vanessa, we need five kids. Recently, I’ve tried to get the sixth.

Vanessa: You said four or five.

Clay: Recently, I’ve tried to get that sixth kid game going but I –

Vanessa: He’s trying. He’s wounded.

Clay: With the vasectomy, it is not possible biologically speaking, but I’m trying to push through the pain here.

Vanessa: He’s trying.

Clay: The thing is, my goal was to have five kids. I really wanted five kids. I really just like to be alone. I like the solitude. I like the tree game, I like pine trees. I like to invite people over, but I don’t like to have it where it’s just like people, “Hi neighbor. How are you doing?”

A lot of people love neighbors. I know a lot of people would love neighbors. They are, “Neighbor. Look at my neighbor. This is my neighbor.” I have never, and I would say it’s never, I have never known a neighbor because I just can’t do it because I do things like burn things.

Sharita: Oh my God.

Clay: The neighbor is like, “You’re going to burn our house down.

Vanessa: The fire department gets called.

Clay: You will burn his house down. If he’s house burns, then they’ll burn down our house too.” Anyway, I’m just saying this, faith, family, right? The third is finances, then friendship and then fitness. Go ahead and write down these goals here for each one of these areas, and then when we come back after the break, we’re going to get in to action step number two. Action step number two is going to be perfect for you. Thrive Time Show.

Announcer: For the professional looking man out there, this is for you. Are you tired of waiting for hours in disorganized barber shops around town? Are you maybe looking for an upscale haircut experience instead of being treated like a little kid? If either of these thoughts crossed your mind, then Elephant in the Room Men’s Grooming Lounge is for you. The Elephant in the Room Men’s Grooming Lounge is proud to offer a variety of packages in memberships for discerning men and regular customers who wish to maintain their tailored look, while receiving discounts off of services and products.

They’re going to bring you in. They’ll offer you a beverage, identify your style that you’re going for, get you a tailored haircut from one of the professional stylist, wash your hair, and then style it afterwards, so you could even go back to work. The experience is awesome. They even do cool things for members like a free nape shave on Mondays, or a peppermint oil scalp massage on Tuesday. Check out one of the locations near you and book an appointment. You can check them out at, or just dial 918-877-2219. Seriously, you’re going to love it. 918-877-2219, or visit to book an appointment today.

You’re listening to the Thrive Time Show on Talk Radio 1170.

Clay: All right Thrive nation, welcome back to the Thrive Time Show during your drive time home. This is Tulsa’s only local business radio show. It’s business school without the BS. My name is Clay Clark and I am a business coach. I’m the former SBA Entrepreneur of the year in your ear. I’m joined here with the hostess with the mostest, Ms. Sharita Bent, and my incredible wife is Ms. Vanessa Clark. We’re talking today about a subject that I’m very passionate about, it’s this concept of, so you built a business, but have you built that life?

Now, action item number one is you want to go and take the time to define your five Fs. Faith, family, finance, fitness, friendships. Those goals, faith, family, finance, friendship, fitness. Those five goals, but specifically what you want to do, is you want to block out time in your schedule to achieve or to do that. Because if you’re highly motivated for fitness, let’s say if you don’t have a time blocked out, then you won’t do it. If you’re highly motivated for church but you don’t block it out, you won’t do it.

It’s super important that you block out that time. Now, I have a little notable quotable that I want to read to you before we get into action item number two. This comes from Napoleon Hill, and author who I love so much that I named my son after him. My son’s name is Aubrey Napoleon Hill Clark. He’s a bestselling author. He was a coach for Oral Roberts. He actually was the life coach of Oral Roberts. If you’re listening right now you’re going, “Oral Roberts, the Oral Roberts.” This guy was one of his advisers, true story. He says, “Drifting without aim or purpose is the first cause of failure.” Drifting without cause or purpose.

Vanessa, from your perspective as a mom raising five kids, why do you have to know during the day, write out the things that have to get done as a mom as far as home schooling the kids and the things they have to learn. Why do you have to write it out instead of going, “Well, we’ll just see what happens.”?

Vanessa: Well, I think it comes back even back to developing those habits. Yes, write out your to do list, but if you ingrain in your children and in yourself even daily habits, you know what to expect and it becomes a routine. It becomes your character overtime to do these things and as expected. It’s also so easy to fall out of a habit. You’ve got to stay on it and keep everything in place of schedule so you’re not drifting.

Clay: Now, when we do — as you begin to define your day and you begin to block out these things, now we’re on a business show. We’re teaching you how to start and grow a successful business. What happens is action item number two, is you have to define your ideal and likely buyers. You have to know who you’re targeting, who you’re marketing, who you’re going after. Otherwise, you’re not going to be able to achieve the financial success needed in order to fund the achievement of these other areas. You see, you can have all your goals blocked out, I know people who do, and then you’re like, “Well, I need to get some more money”, so now you got to get back to work.

You’ve got to find a way to earn that money while still having time for those things. It’s not going to happen overnight. Some of you are working in a company where you have to work your way up. Some of you have a business where you have to work your way up with that business, but you must define your ideal and likely buyers. Let me give you an example, for our business our online school called, our ideal buyers are business owners who feel stuck, or they feel like they don’t know the next move. They don’t have a proven game plan.

If anybody out there, if you’re listening and you want to grow your business and take it to the next level, the website that Dr. Zoellner and I built, and our team. We built it because Z, has opened up a successful auto auction. It’s the largest auto auction in Oklahoma. He’s opened up a top Optometry clinic. He’s opened up a durable medical equipment company. He’s opened up a sleep center, etc. A horse ranch. I’ve opened up a successful photography company, a party rental company, an entertainment company, a PR company, a men’s grooming company. The point is, we know what we’re doing.

People who want to build a successful business and say, “I just want to be shown how to do it,” they love our program. What they do is they’ll reach out to us and they go, “You guys actually built the website too?” Yes, we do the website, photography, videography, online ads. We do everything. We coach you. We show you the proven path, and we do a lot of stuff too. That’s our market. Our market is not what I would call happy hopers. Sharita, do you know who the happy hopers are?

Sharita: Yes, we talk about this a lot in the office, the happy hopers.

Clay: This is a happy hoper. This is what they do. They go, “I want to grow a business.” And I go, “Okay. It’s weird that you talk like that.” “I just want to grow a business.” I talked to guy the other day. This is literally the conversation. He goes, “Well, I have this credit repair company, it’s credit repair. What I do is I repair credit, it’s like instantaneous.” I’m not making this up. “It’s instantaneous. You just go on there, you fill out the form and it’s like boom.” And I’m going, “So, you fill out a form, and then it’s like boom?” “Oh yes, absolutely. What I want to do is I want to have viral growth. I need a viral video. I need some online ads. How much is it?”

And I go, “What we used to do is start off with this 29 point business assessment. We identify your biggest limiting factors, and we help you.” He’s like, “Well right now, what I’m doing is I’m looking to raise capital. I’m willing to give up 25% of the business right now to somebody who can come in here and take it viral.” First off, let’s get deep for a second. Guy Kawasaki, he’s the guy who’s the marketing head for Apple. He says, “Ideas are easy. Implementation is hard.” I’m going to take you to the Thrive dojo of mojo. First, do you think that no else has had idea for an auto auction? Do you think no one else had an idea for photography?

The thing is its implementation. It’s not about — is Dr. Z the first Optometrist in Oklahoma? No. He’s successful because he has a proven plan, but this guy who says, “Well, I’ll give you 25% right now. I just want to go viral.” What does that even mean? I’m going to tell you what that means. You probably have been listening to this guy right here. If you want to get instantaneous credit card charges with no results but you want to feel good, I’ve got a great guy for you. His name is Tai Lopez. This guy is a real American jackass. Let me play this audio for you.

Tai Lopez: We’ll take the elevator. I don’t if we’ll take the elevator. But it’s nice sometimes if you have a lot of luggage, so we’ll wait for it.

Clay: He’s walking you through his house which by the way, if you Google Tai Lopez and you find where his real office is located, you find out it’s based in a warehouse in Europe. You’ll find out he’s never actually had a real job, and you’ll find out that he’s a charlatan. A charlatan by definition of somebody — By the way, if you’re listening right now and you’re going, “I’ve never heard of these words.” I encourage you to look up this word, because a charlatan is the best word that can describe this guy.

Sharita: [laughs] That’s a good one.

Clay: A charlatan is a person who uses confidence and tricks in order to obtain money, fame, or other advantages, by taking advantage of people. A lot of these people — Another guy, Kevin Trudeau. Have you ever heard of Kevin Trudeau?

Sharita: I remember him.

Vanessa: Yes, that’s a good one.

Sharita: It was always whatever they don’t want you to know, I remember.

Vanessa: My mom bought me the book.

Clay: 706 things the government doesn’t want you to know. Ways to get super rich overnight with government grants. 82 ways to make a million dollars with real estate. These are the things that the universal niche for this people only makes sense after 2:00 AM.

Sharita: Yes.

Clay: 2:00 AM, you’re watching your favorite show. No you’re not. 2:00 AM, you woke up and you’re like, “I can’t sleep. I guess I’ll get some ice cream. It’s usually right. It’s better to have ice cream at night. Yes, I’ll do it.” You’re there just sitting there in your boxers while eating ice cream, and you turn on like chips. Chips, that’s like a show from the ’80s or ’70s. You turn on Chips, and it’s like a Price is Right reruns, or something weird and you’re like, “Come on down.” You turn it, and there’s that really sweet man who’s trying to raise money for kids who are in Africa named Magwire or something and you go, “I don’t want to — I can’t watch this” you turn and then the guy is talking about dehydrating meat and then you turn it and here’s this guy. He’s like –

Vanessa: You know all the shows.


Clay: This guy goes, “Hey, are you tired of working everyday? Do you want to make millions of dollars while travelling around the world, spending time with your friends? Well, let me tell you what, I don’t normally take the elevator but it’s cool when you have a bunch of luggage. My name is Tai Lopez and I’m a real American jack-ass. I’m here to teach you my secrets for getting rich.” Then you’re getting — the thing is, we teach the proven methods but we at know who our ideal and likely buyers are.

Vanessa: That’s what I was going to say is, it’s really so important to know your ideal and likely buyers because I think a lot of businesses, ours for example, DJ connection, I think back in the day, we used to think every bride is our ideal and likely buyers. We will book every bride, it took us a while to have realized, “Wow, some of these brides, we don’t make any money on.” but we wanted to book every single bride and we had to learn that lesson of maybe they’re not ideal and likely.

Clay: I remember, I went out to super West Oklahoma DJ for this bride named Monica, whose dad had built her the dance floor and he was confident that she could get a better DJ for under $200. I was like, “I’ll beat that price.”

Vanessa: We’ll book her.

Clay: I drive out to the ends of the earth, I drive — there’s like an angel of death who’s there going, “Don’t go any further or you will certainly die.” I’m like, “What was that angel of death?” He really gets pumped up and he said, “Don’t drive any further or you will certainly die, you are about ready to go off the ends of the earth. Everybody in this town tips school, everybody in this town has a confederate flag on their bumper sticker, every single person in this town is obsessed with being a red-neck.” and I’m like, “Well, I think that makes a lot of sense, I’m probably just keep on going.” “You’re going to certainly die.” Next thing I know, I’m out there DJ until 4:00 in the morning for Monica.

Vanessa: But you booked her.

Clay Clark: I booked her, I tell you what, she was drunk as a skunk before she came down that aisle, the groom had no idea what time it was when he passed out at 4:00 AM, but I booked it. I’m telling you what you want to know who your ideal and likely buyers are or you’re going to be booking the wrong customers. You’ve got to take the time to define who are your ideal and likely buyers. Thrive Time Show.

Announcer: Okay. Managing your money has not been easier. is the solution to ambiguous and blind money management. You can effortlessly create budgets that are easy to stick to or even use one that they make for you. Design budgets that are appropriate for now and put you in position to succeed in the future. Get notifications for weird account charges and receive personalized tips for eliminating thieves and saving more money.

Check your credit with free credit score and explore what you can do to improve it to be able to purchase the things that you really want later. Link up the app on your phone and money management on-the-go has never been easier. You can even link up your portfolio accounts so you can see your bank accounts and stock values side-by-side., you got to go check it out and you can sign up for free. Again, that’s, go, sign up right now. It’s definitely a game changer for money management.

Broadcasting from the center of the universe, featuring optometrist-turned-entrepreneur, Doctor Robert Zoellner and US-SBA Entrepreneur of the year, Clay Clark. This is the Thrive-Time Show on Talk Radio 1170.

Clay: Hello T-town in Oklahomies, those of you listening from all over this great state called, Oklahoma, you’re listening to the Thrive-time show during your drive-time home. For anyone who’s tuning in for the first time, the Thrive-time show is dedicated to providing business school without the BS. I’m the former SBA Entrepreneur of the year, my name is Clay Clark and I’m joined here with the hostess with mostest Ms. Sherita Bent and my incredible wife of 15 years, Mrs. Vanessa Clark.

Hey guys, seriously when you’re watching Facebook Live, she’s taken, just look at that ring, she’s taken. We’re talking today about this concept that’s really near and dear to my heart because I get what it’s like to do this. You built a successful business, but have you built a successful life? That’s something that, that’s the big aim, can you do that? Can we do that? We talk about step number one is you wanted to find those F-fives, your big goals for your faith, family, finances, your fitness, your friendship.

You should have block out time for each of those. You get a good evening and just spend your whole time doing that. But step two, you get to step one first, step number two is you want to find your ideal and likely buyers. You want to say, with your business, who do you want to work with and Chet Holmes, he has a notable-quotable, he says, “Best buyers buy more, buy faster, and buy more often than other buyers. These are your ideal clients, have a special effort dedicated to just the dream clients.” That’s Chet Holmes, best-selling author of The Ultimate Sales Machine. Elephant in the room, it’s our men’s grooming lounge. We this week just passed 78% conversion in South Tulsa.

Sharita: That’s awesome.

Clay: Here’s the deal is, 10 guys come in for their $1 haircut, if you’re listening right now, and you’re not satisfied with your haircut, your hair is kind of looking funky and you’re going, “What is going on? Every time I go in there, I have to wait for an hour, I’m reading old people magazine. I don’t like it.” Then you can come into the Elephant Room, give it a try. It’s $1 for Tulsa’s best men grooming experience. When you come in, 78 out of a hundred men have said, “We love the experience so much, we want to sign up to be a member.” It’s a good membership-only kind of thing. Then the other people said it’s not the right fit. But not everyone is going to appreciate a paraffin hand dip.

Vanessa: It’s a male-pampering.

Clay: Hot towel treatment, Barn-wood, an adult beverage. Many people said, “I don’t appreciate that atmosphere, but I want to do is I want to go to a place where it’s like $9 for a haircut, and I want to wait and I want to read an old people magazine and then I’m going to do that.” But the Elephant Room is an appointment-only kind of deal. But you have to define your ideal and likely buyers. Vanessa, am I missing something here? Can I move on or deflect, am I missing something here about this?

Vanessa: : No, I think you’re spot on, I know, we lived it and we went through that, booking everyone, and we learned quickly, okay, we don’t make the majority of our profit on these brides right here, let’s stay on the ones we probably can.

Clay: I have something real quick as a consultant. This is one that makes me nuts. Here’s the deal, as a consultant, I am not signing a contract with you, check it out, I am not signing a contract with you. Many, many people, thousands of people reach out to me every year going, “Can you help me grow my business?” The thing is, yes. Every time I do it, it works, but here’s the deal, I am not signing a contract with you. Why? Because my attorney, very good attorney, Winters and King, the attorneys, who good or bad, they’re one of the biggest law-firms in Tulsa. You’re like, “They are bad if they’re a big firm.” No, they’re a good firm, they are great people.

But every time I call them, it’s like $300. I try to like, even if they call me, I try to hang up on them. Seriously, they charge it, and they’re good but it’s a deal. I don’t wanted to go, I signed a contract it’s a month-to-month, if you’re not happy with my services, cancel.

Vanessa: You want to be able to get rid of them if you realized, you know what, this client is not the kind of client that I need to be serving.

Clay: Let me give you an example. We had a client that we’re working with and every week, we have an appointment at the same time. The appointment is at 2:00 PM. The client doesn’t show up at 2:00 PM, doesn’t call. 4:00 PM they’d call, “Hey, I need to meet right now.” I say, “We have a weekly time at 2:00 PM.” He said, “I had an emergency come up.” I said, “I can’t do it. I have a weekly time, I’ve blocked it in the graphic designers, the photographers, the videographers, our whole consultant team is there for you at 2:00, you didn’t call. Next week we’ll see at 2:00.”

Every week for like two, three weeks in a row, he’s got this emergency. I just called him, I said, “Hey, you know what, I don’t think we’re a good fit because, I’m not going to reschedule and the fact that you even rescheduled, people that don’t keep their appointments stress me out, I’m not going to yell at you, I’m just going to tell you that there’s no nobody in the history of the world has been successful, who consistently misses appointments.” It’s never happened and as an example, if you’re the pastor of a church and everyone gets there and the church starts at 10, “Where’s pastor? Where is he?” and every Sunday you walk-in like, “Oh I never knew –” you could just run in,”– hey everybody, sorry I was really late, traffic was — traffic was an act of God, traffic.”

But there’s always so many times you can play that card, if you’re a pastor, zero. Now, some of you say, “I didn’t like President Obama” some of you say, “I love President Obama.” Either way, he was always on time for his keynotes. America’s tuning in at six o’clock for the big State of the Union, he’s not like “Where’s Obama? Where is he?” and he’s calling, “Hey, guys I can’t be there, I’m stuck in traffic.” No, he plans. I’m just saying you have got to understand who your ideal and likely buyers are, otherwise you can get stuck with the clients you don’t want.

Vanessa: I think it’s very important too if you fail to recognize who your ideal and likely, it can hurt your business. If you would take on that client who cannot keep their meetings, who’s going to end up missing appointments with videographers and photographers, guess what, their business is not going to have that growth that you’re anticipating for, that you’re trying to bringing on for. Who are they going to get mad at? Who are they going to tell? It’s the same thing if you’re selling, I don’t know –

Clay: Say you’re selling cookies right now, you sell gourmet cookies and they’re very good. You’re trying to compete with Barbie cookies, one of our clients, Barbie cookies, you probably can’t because they’re really good. But let’s just say that you’ve tried to compete with them and you sell gourmet cookies. They’re expensive to make, they’re handmade. They’re not made by some machine somewhere. You’re going to put a price tag of $2.50 or $3.50 on each cookie, and someone comes in and goes, “I can get them cheaper on a bag.”

Vanessa: They don’t appreciate the quality because they want to go to Walmart and get theirs.

Clay: I get 142 oreos in a bag for like $3 and then you are out there charging me $3 per cookie, I’m not happy. If you try to get in that business, you’ll lose even when you win.

Vanessa: Yes, and isn’t it stressful too when you try to deal with that type of client that is not a good pay for you?

Clay: Yes. I’ll just say this, I love America, I love you, first thing right now, I love you, I love America and if you love country music, I love you. But I don’t understand your music. Seriously, ‘You and me going fishing in the dark, something [unintelligible 00:50:52].’

Vanessa: You don’t understand fishing either.

Clay: I’m going, I don’t understand fishing in the dark and why would you and me. I think it’s the English, the grammar, ‘You and me are going fishing in the dark,’ I don’t get it. But you know what? You get it and it’s okay. If you are a country music artist, you don’t want all over sudden to be like Kenny Chesney and come out with your RnB album to appeal to me, unless you are –

Vanessa: Because you are going to hate it anyways.

Clay: – unless you’re Nelly and you have no more juice left in that career and you realize you can get one more song by coming up with –

Vanessa: Tim Macgraw.

Clay: Tim Macgraw, what was that song they did? What was that song they did? I don’t — you’ve got to look that up. I want to make sure that we know what that song was here. Our action number three, determine the cause, associate it with achieving your ideal lifestyle. This is so important. You have to figure out what it’s going to cost you to live your ideal and likely ideal lifestyle because otherwise you are not going to likely to be able to afford it.

You can’t let other people put that lifestyle on you because the typical lifestyle right now — this is what you want do here in America. You want to get a new car, you want to go to college, you want to live in a McMansion and you want to get a 30 year mortgage and you want to pay for it till the end of time, you want to put your kids into college, you want to finish paying off your college right when start paying for your kids college and then what you want to do is you want to pay and live in that McMansion. You want to work when you are 65, 67 your health is failing, by the time you retire and you retire and then about five or six years you’re dead.

Vanessa: I don’t want to do that.

Clay: You can do that. That is what most people do. But I’m going to give you an example of what the world would have you do if you’re not intentional about your lifestyle. Have you ever heard of De Beers?

Vanessa: Yes.

Sharita: Yes.

Clay: These guys came with the phrase –

Vanessa: Genius.

Clay: “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.”

Vanessa: So smart.

Sharita: We believed it.

Clay: They came up with the idea that diamond rings should be — remember they are a diamond company. You realize before the De Beers, men did not give women a diamond ring. But they branded and branded and did commercials and commercials saying, “Don’t you know that diamonds are a girl’s best friends?” And all of a sudden you start to go, “I feel I should buy her a diamond.” They did a study. By the way, they helped to promote that a man should spend how much of his salary on a ring?

Vanessa: I think it’s three months.

Clay: Three months’ salary on the wedding ring. He should do this.

Vanessa: 90 days, get on it boys.

Sharita: I’ve never heard that before, wow.

Clay: Then what happens is all of a sudden all these men are, “I tell you what we are going to do our wedding and I’m going to get her that ring.” You’re getting to the end of your wedding night and you’re now $ 20,000 in debt because you’ve heavily financed the ring and you’ve paid –

Vanessa: I’m hoping you saved for it and paid cash.

Sharita: Oh my God.

Clay: I’m just saying that if you’re not careful, then many people are going to pull you in that direction.

Vanessa: True.

Clay: Things that I don’t value that maybe other people do, one and it’s just an example. I am not — personally I am not the kind of a guy who likes to go to social events. A lot of people I know spend a lot of money doing that. They are in the country club, they are at some sort of summit club. There is nothing wrong with that if that is what you like, it’s fine. My summit club is my man cave, we actually run a Facebook Live right now and you’re in my man cave.

Vanessa: That’s right.

Clay: I value my time with myself, by myself, with myself, spending time with myself. I love being alone with my thoughts, being alone with my family. That‘s about all I want to do. But the thing is some people they want to go on those vacations and I don’t get it. I don’t understand it but someone else listening, they love vacations. You can decide whatever you want but in areas of faith, family, finance, fitness and friendship, you’ve got to figure out what your ideal lifestyle is going to cost and you must put a number on it. Yes ma’am.

Sharita: I think it’s so good and I think people get a way for me to be truly realistic with the cost. You might think, “Okay, this is going to cost me $100,000 a year.” Is it really? Then also put a factor in what you are going to be making and then cut in half, taxes.

Clay: Taxes, so good to know you’re not a negative person. Moving on to action number four, determine your highest and best use of your company. Now that you know how much — you know your goals, you know that lifestyle, you know the kind of lifestyle you are going for, now you’ve got to figure out your ideal and likely buyers. You’ve got that figured out. Now you’ve got to figure out what product or service can your company sell. It’s going to help you achieve those goals. You have to figure out what widget, what service, what product, what I’m I going to sell which is going to allow me to earn and be enough income to be able to live that ideal lifestyle.

Announcer: This show’s episode is brought to you by If you have ever considered the world wide web as a viable strategy for your business, you’ve got to check out this tool. Online marketing is complicated but Moz Software makes it easy. Companies like 99 Designs, Otterbox and Aaron’s, they all use Moz because it works. Explore organic search key words for your business, research Bing and Google search results for your targeting key words and link up Moz local and Google my business. Seriously this tool is crazy powerful with the clarity it brings to online marketing for your business. Even if you’re just curious, start a 30 days trial with today. It’s a game changer for your business., M-O-Z dot com.

You’re listening to the Thrive Time Show on Talk Radio, 1170.

Clay: All right Thrive nation, welcome back to the Thrive Time Show during your drive time home and you are tuned in on Facebook Live, what’s up? My name is Clay Clark the former US SBA entrepreneur of the year and I am joined here with Ms. Sherita Bent and my incredible wife of 15 years Mrs. Vanessa Clark and we are talking today about a subject that is near and dear to my heart. It’s this idea of, yes you built a business but are you building the lifestyle, are you building the life that you want?

We talked about the first four action steps. If you missed them, if you missed the first three action steps, you can go to the, again,, one more time, and you can hear the podcast, you can listen to it again.

We are on action item number four which is determine your highest and best use to scale your company. Your highest and best use, this is always an interesting idea because what is going to happen is it’s going to change every time. I have one example that blew my mind as I was getting the show notes ready, I was doing my research, I was thinking about it, I was meditating on it. Here is what blew my mind, Walt Disney used to draw Mickey Mouse. He used to draw and he used to do the voice for everyone in the shows. He is like, “Hey guys, what is going on?” and that was him doing it. He was doing the voice and drawing it. Imagine you are Walt Disney and you are going, “Hey guys, what is going on?”

He is doing all that and eventually, this is where it’s crazy, he realized I can’t physically draw enough pictures because back in the day animation was, they took a bunch of pictures in a row and they made I think out of cell, and you would flip through it like a flip book and you would cause animation to happen. It’s like 30 to 60 pictures a second you would have to flip through to create a motion.

In a movie that is an hour and a half long, if it’s 60 pictures a second, all of a sudden you’re going, “Oh no,” because if it’s 60 seconds, then that’s like 3,000 pictures. In like a minute and you have 3000 pictures, “That’s not that bad.” No, it is. You’re talking like 300,000 pictures. He realized, “I can’t draw anymore, but I’ll still do the voice.” Then what happens is, he discovers this guy named Ub Iwerks. Ub, U-B, Famous name Ub. Ub, this guy can draw the Mickey Mouse better than he can draw the Mickey Mouse. But he is the one who created the Mickey Mouse.

He is like, “Hey Ub.” I’m sure Ub sounds like this, “All right men what do you want me to do men? I was just out there getting some noodles and that’s where you are fishing in the river with your hand while I was doing that and now you want me draw?” Ub sounds like those country club names. But Ub begins to draw Mickey for him. Well, then at a certain point he realizes, “Hey, I smoke a lot,” He was a smoker. At some point he was like, “I sound like John Rivers, what is going on?”

Vanessa: He’s taking after me.

Clay: Yes, and he’s realizing, he’s like Mickey Mouse is starting to sound scary, “Hey kids, what’s going on?” Then we’re like, “Does Mickey smoke?” He realizes, but seriously he goes, “I should not — the best use of my time isn’t to do the voice or to draw the character, I need to hire animators.” Then it became my job, my highest and best use is in hiring animators, it’s training people to hire animators. Then it became securing the land. Then it became visioning up Disney World. It got to a certain point where people say, “What do you do? He goes, “Basically, am like a butterfly. I fly around pollinating creative ideas around Disney World and that’s what a Disney Land and that’s what I do.”

But he kept having to look at his life and say what’s his highest and best use. Right now, let’s just say an example, if you’re listening right now and you mow lawns and you started out, you are mowing lawns, you are going door to door mowing lawns. Well, now you have enough customers who are asking, “Hey, could you put an outdoor kitchen for me?” Then you happen to turn down outdoor kitchens all the time where you make a lot of profit on outdoor kitchen to do lawn mowing.

At a certain point you are going to have to say, “Hey, you know what, we have a team of five guys, five ladies.” I haven’t seen a team of all ladies landscapers. Have you seen that? Is that a thing?

Vanessa: Maybe they are up and coming. [laughs]

Clay: Okay. Anyway, by the way, Hillary Clinton was talking a lot about the glass ceiling. The glass ceiling I think it’s women landscapers. I have never seen a whole team of lady landscapers with pony tails running around. Anyway, that’s just something. I think women if you’re listening right now and you are looking for a glass ceiling to break through, go for the presidency and go to be a landscaper and manual labor would be the first all women landscaping crew in the world. You can do it.

Here is the thing is, you are out there mowing though, and eventually you have to say, “My highest and best use isn’t mowing but it’s installing the kitchens, but our company generates the leads by mowing. People hear about us as a result of mowing. We still need to do mowing but I don’t need to do mowing.” When you start to as an owner, elevate and move yourself up to higher and better uses of your time, Sharita, what do you speculate begins to happen with the team who knew you back in the day before you got a big head, before you started thinking you are something, when you are out there mowing the lawn with us and now you are out there doing your outdoor kitchens. What do you feel like starts to happen?

Sharita: Well, I think definitely your circle changes and maybe the people who started out with you, they may not make the transitions with you.

Clay: It becomes tough. I remember I used to DJ every single show. I used to pride myself. I DJ Friday, I DJ Saturday, I DJ at Sunday, I DJ on Wednesday, I haven’t slept in a week. You think I’m tired. I used to carry all the systems. I used to fix all the gear, book all the shows. I took pride in that. Eventually am like, “I’m going to be dead soon if I keep this up.” Anyway, over time you begin to have to change and I’m just telling you when you change and you focus on your highest and best use, things get a little different. Recently the radio show and speaking events doesn’t become a higher and better use and am sure eventually I’ll basically, my highest and best use will be just go to one of those unlimited frozen yogurt places and just be in there. What were you going to say?

Sharita: I was just going to say for me, this is really, and I know it’s not business thing, this is family thing but it is just a such a heart cry for me right now, for you, for everyone his highest and best use. I know you and I probably started discussing it a year ago. You could do a hundred different things but we really had a pick out. But what is the highest and best use because whenever you say yes to something, you’ve got to say no to something else. What are you going to say no to? Is it going to be that other job? Is it going to be your family? For me, that’s probably not my highest and best use to cleaning the house and I don’t want it to be either. I don’t want to get good at that.

Clay: No. When you get focused, I’m going to tell you what, when you focus, when you get into that, my wife starts to use like the light saver of cleaning, she might be the most exceptional princess of palace cleaning in the whole world but she –

Sharita: It’s not my highest and best use. I would rather be hanging out with you, right? Working with the kids. In the end it’s not going to matter who cleaned my house.

Clay: I’m joking because a lot of, am just telling you, a lot of people are saying that to their spouses. Now they are like, “I guess I should do it then.” Or a lot of people with their customers are going, “Hey man, you used to be an awesome DJ.” I’m not kidding. I had like this echo deejaying for about a two or three year period where people were like, “You used to be the best, could you come DJ for me one last time.”

Sharita: I remember that.

Vanessa: I remember that.

Clay: I was like, “No.” They were like, “We’ll pay you double.” “Well, okay.” Then you go out there, and I love it but I got to stop eventually, I’ve got to move on. Even Walt Disney had to stop.

Sharita: You would have never been able to move on to this show, to move on to helping out people in business which truly is your calling if you didn’t move on to your highest and best use.

Clay: Now here’s the deal, Rick Cockcrow, he is one of our mentors. He is the former executive vice president of Walt Disney World Resorts. The Walt Disney World Resorts that Walt Disney built himself. He used to manage that. Imagine he had to manage all 40,000 people. He says this and I love this quote, he says, “You either pay now or pay later, with just about every decision you make about where and how you spend your time.”

I want you to think about that for a second. How am I spending my last 24 hours? How do I spend my last hour? Don’t question how you spent your last hour you, spend it with us, the highest and best use obviously. Now when we come back, we are talking about action item number five.


Announcer: Right now, how are you taking credit card payments for your business? It’s never been faster or easier to begin taking credit card payments for your business than with Square. You know the little white square that plugs into your phone’s headphone jack. It’s awesome. This payment app is great for businesses such as food trucks, beauty salons and retail shops. The users receive a small portable card reader that they can attach to a phone or other mobile device to take fast and convenient payments.

The way it works is that it subtracts 2.75% of every time a card is run and it does it automatically. If you sell a sandwich for $20, you’ll see a net gain of $19.45 in your bank account the next day. If you enter the card by hand, it costs 3.5% plus $0.15 on top of that. They encrypt everything so you know you’re secure. They make it super clear to start and even offer bonuses for sharing with friends. You can learn more at It’s free to download and works on all devices and operating systems. Make sure that you go visit


Live, local, now, you’re listening to the Thrive Time Show on Talk Radio 1170.

Clay: Hello Thrive nation, welcome back. In fact you’re listening to the Thrive Time Show during your drive time home. This is the place that you go for the audio dojo of mojo. Where we talk about business school without the BS and yes my name is Clay Clark. I’m the former SBA entrepreneur of the year in your ear. Today we are talking about a topic that am especially passionate about because the show is all about how to build a successful business but today we are talking about, so you build a successful business but are you building a successful life?

Action item number four, we were talking about action number four before the break and Sharita had a question about this. Action number four that was, determine your highest and best use to scale your company? Sharita, you had a question.

Sharita: I did. I thought when you’re scaling and looking at what’s highest and best use for you, do you like anticipate what’s coming?

Clay: Yes, I have one. This is an example. Right now we have Thrivers all around the world who are wanting to come out to our workshops. I am not interested in speaking in front of groups of thousands of people and bouncing a beach ball where I’m like, “It’s so awesome. Do you guys want to watch? Who wants to feel motivated?” I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to do the whole, “Do you want to walk on hot coal? Why don’t you walk on hot coal? Everybody, let’s walk on hot coal.” I’m not going to do that because if I were to do that, that wouldn’t be true to me. I’m not walking on hot coals, I’m not a beach boy kind of guy.

I am a, “Hey, this is how we build a linear work flow. Hey, this is how we acquire customers. This is the specific steps for branding. This is how you launch an online ad. This is how you build a check list.” That’s what I’m all about. I have made myself a goal, I said once we have this number of people that are coming to Tulsa, to come to our workshops instead of me traveling around the world, because I’ve spoken for Chevron just recently in Houston. We have big event coming up in December in Las Vegas and the lady you booked me, she’s a nice lady but she wants me to call her and I’m never available because I’m always in workshops and so she calls me and I call her and I text her and she texts me and I go hop on a plane, fly out there, get my books delivered, do the cocktail hour, meet the people, set up, check into a hotel room, seat in the back left of a plane where no one talks to me.

I do all this things that I do and I just would prefer to do it all here. I’ve decided once we have a certain number of people that are coming to Tulsa for workshops, instead of me going, that’s when I am done with this phase of my life which is traveling to speak. I have set a new miracle number, I’ve set a number I have to hit, a quantifiable goal.

Sharita: A goal, yes.

Vanessa: You see it in the future where you are going and you know what you need to do to get there.

Clay: Right. The DJ business, let me give an example, once we got to $2,000 a week of gross revenue, I would stop personally deejaying all of the shows, I would still DJ some but I was now going to hire somebody else who could DJ and then I was going to do more sales. Once we hit $5,000 a week of sales, I was going to only DJ one show a week and then I was going to — you set those goals but you have to set specific goals otherwise you just drift.

Sharita: Yes.

Vanessa: You set off in the distance tasks things that you could do that no one else could do and that you needed to spend more time on.

Clay: Yes. Example, if you’re looking for a pasty male to walk around and pontificate about business wisdom they’ve learned with no discernible physical talent or really coordination, anyone can’t do that, it’s just me. Seriously, you have to think about your highest and best use and where are you using those hours of your day. Actually on number five, you want to join a community and commit to investing 15 minutes a day to learn how to start or grow a business and work with me on this, I’m not talking about, I’m talking about a real, specific, actionable item.

I say a community, nobody dislikes joining a big networking group or some big community. Let’s all get together and hang out and exchange how we feel. Not me. But I’m talking about you want to get into a peer group aka a community of people you have a common union, of people who are entrepreneurs or maybe successful dads or successful entrepreneurs or successful, whatever you want to be.

Vanessa: When it comes to you again cultivating your habit, it’s going to create your success. Isn’t that what you said earlier?

Clay: Yes. Well, if you want to be like a successful like athlete, then you would want to surround yourself with at least one or two other successful athletes. So you’re comparing yourself with at least one or two other successful athletes so that you are comparing yourself, first you compare yourself with other people, yes, only if you want to be successful. If you want to surround yourself with a community of people who are successful in the way you want to be successful.

Again, if you want to be a successful father, just surround yourself with a successful father, someone you can model, someone you can be around and then you want to block off 15 minutes a day minimum to studying how to become the best at that area because very, very, very, very, very, few people do that. But we had the statistic show from Tom Corley and his book, The Habits. It’s called Rich Habits. The daily success habits of wealthy individuals, he says 88% of wealthy people are reading every day. 88% of wealthy people are reading 30 minutes or more each day versus 2% of the poor.

What were they reading? He says 88% of wealthy read 30 minutes or more each day for education or career reasons versus 2% of the poor. That’s not normal to spend that kind of time reading. You must block off that time every day and you must surround yourself with people who think that’s normal. Vanessa is a mom. I mean, you home school. Why is it so important to surround yourself with other moms who share the same faith and values with you with your kids? Why is it important that you’re around those people and not people who think you’re nuts?

Vanessa: Otherwise, they’re going about in the same direction. We’re going the same place. Otherwise we’re going to get off track. We’re going to drift if I’m surrounding myself with people who don’t believe like we do and aren’t going for the same goals. But then you’ve got to hold yourself to those habits of the 15 minutes a day or whatever it is and that’s not just going to happen. Cultivate the habits.

Clay: If you’re listening right now, what’s happening is you’re starting to get this in focus, you’re starting to realize, hey, this whole success game isn’t super hard I guess. I mean I just kind of define my five Fs, my faith, my family, my financial, my fitness goals and then I’ve got to figure out okay, how am I going to build it? Who are my ideal and likely buyers? What am I going to sell them? How much money do I need to earn? When we come back, we’re going to talk about how to attract customers. Crazy idea, coming up next.

Announcer: Are you looking to start or grow a business? Then you are definitely going to have problems and questions along the way. You’ll find the answers to all of your business questions at provides online video based business training, top by millionaires and successful entrepreneurs for less than a dollar per day. That’s less than your daily coffee budget. It’s no classrooms, no get rich quick seminars. These are trainings broken into 15 minute segments. They get you the answers that you need.

It’s a business school without the BS. I dare you to try a seven day free trial. Simply go to and the first 100 people will also receive a free downloadable for how to optimize your website. Stop wasting your time and money. Go to and get your business questions answered now.

You are listening to the Thrive Time Show on Talk Radio 1170.

Clay: All right, Thrive nation welcome back. You are listening to the Thrive Time Show during your drive time home on this magical Monday. As always, I am your co-host with the most Captain Clay Clark and I’m the former SBA Entrepreneur of the year and I am a business coach and we’re in the man cave today, a place where it’s real. If you’re a man, everybody as a man wants to have, you secretly have a desire to have a man cave, a place where you can have jerseys, American flags, you can have Addison bulbs, and just an unhealthy amount of flat screen TVs.

Vanessa: I feel like this is a man palace.

Clay: A man palace sombreros, just really no carpet. Just concrete, if you spill, no big deal, right? Just, that’s what you want. I’m telling you what. That’s what we’ve got right here. Just tune in the visual piece that you get as a man. Now, women, you could watch this and go you know what? This is the antithesis of what I want. This inspires me to get what I want because this is not what I want but this inspires you to get what you want because it’s not what you want but it is. We’re broadcasting today from the man cave. We’re burning stuff outside. It’s smelling great. I’ve got my incredible hostess with the mostest here. With us are co-hosts with the most, Ms. Sharita Bent in the house and my incredible wife, Mrs. Vanessa Clark. How are you ladies doing?

Vanessa: We’re doing wonderful. We’re man caving it up.

Sharita: Yes.

Clay: Man caving it up. Now we’re going to review the steps because today we’re talking about how to not just build a successful business but how to build a successful life. Now step number one, okay? Step number one is you must take the time to define your faith, your family, your friendships, your fitness and your financial goals. You’ve got to do it and you’ve got to block out time to do what you have to block out time, otherwise it won’t happen.

Now, action item number two is you have to define your ideal and likely buyers. You have to figure out, who do you want to work with? Back in the day as a deejay, you know who wants to book deejays? If you have an ad in the Yellow Pages for a deejay, you know wants to book a deejay? Did I ever tell you about these crazy stories?

Vanessa: I think I lived them.

Clay: Well, some of this — every will just say adult club.

Vanessa: This is true, yes.

Clay: In town will call you and they’re like, “Hey, hey, hey, we’re night trips. We’re an adult club,” and you’re like, “What do you do now?” Or just use the word adult, like it somehow makes it classy.

Vanessa: Gentlemen’s club.

Clay: We’re a gentlemen’s club, a place where gentlemen will — a good gentleman’s club is a place where no gentlemen go and affordable health care is not affordable, that’s how it works, still nomenclature. But the thing is as though they reach out to you and they say we want to hire you. If you if you’re not careful and if you don’t know who your ideal and likely buyers, you would go do those things. I never did those but I did a lot of like little clubs, we did a lot of downtown entertainment venues cronies and I’m telling you, that was not my scene.

You’ve got to define who your ideal and likely buyers are. Now, action number three, you want to determine the costs associated with living your ideal lifestyle. You have to know what is it going to cost for you? What is it going to cost for you and your family to achieve those goals and you have to be realistic about it because if you’re not, then you’re going to be in a situation where you’re disappointed at the end of a hard year of working, you’re going to realize that you’re not in the right niche or the right industry or maybe you’re earning — and this has happened. I know people who earn more than they need and they go, “Why am I even working so hard?”

Vanessa: Yes. You need to get very specific. How many children are you going to have? Are you going to put them in private school? Are you going to provide? How many lessons per kid? If you’ve got five kids and you just lessons on, what is that going to cost every month? Get specific about what you want.

Clay: Get specific. You’ve got to get into those details, okay? Action number four, determine your highest and best use of your business’s time, of your time. You want to make sure you as an owner are not out there. Again I gave you the example about landscaping. But if you’re somebody who’s really good right now, you’re mowing lawns and you’re picking up business, that’s great. But at a certain point, maybe it’s a higher and better use for you too because a lot of people are reaching out to you and saying, “Hey, would you install an outdoor patio or pergola or an outdoor kitchen,” and maybe you can make more money on those things and you’re better at that and so maybe you transition into having that be your niche or maybe you become a manager and not actually a laborer or you have to just ask yourself that.

Action number five is you want to join a community and you want to commit to investing at least 15 minutes per day to studying success. Now I’m going to give you right now a notable quotable that I thought was very profound the first time that I read it. This comes to us from Eric Schmidt and Eric Schmidt, if you don’t know who he is, he is the CEO of Google. The chairman and CEO of Google and this is an interview that he did in Fortune Magazine which had a profound impact on me but I’m going to read it to you. He said this. This is in 2001. He says, “The advice that sticks out I got was from John Doerr who in 2001 said, My advice to you is have a coach.” The coach he said I should have is Bill Campbell. I initially resented the advice because after all, I was the CEO of Google. I was pretty experienced, why will I need a coach? Am I doing something wrong? My argument was, how could a coach advise me if I am the best in the world at this? But that is not what a coach does. The coach doesn’t have to play the sport as well as you do. They have to watch you and get you to be your best.”

In the business context, a business coach is not a repetitious coach, a coach is somebody who looks at something with another set of eyes, describes it to you in his or her words and discusses how to approach the problem. Once I realized that I can trust my coach and he can help me with prospective, I decided this is a great idea. When there is a business conflict, you tend to get rattled into it. Bill, that was his coach, his general advice has been to rise one step higher above the person on the other side of the table or take a long view who said, “You are letting it bother you, don’t.” The thing is, this the CEO of Google

All I am saying is the idea that everyone needs a business coach or needs an outside mentor is something that I totally buy into to the point that I started an online school with Doctor Robert Zoellner to teach you specifically how Zee and I were able to grow our businesses. I mean, between the two of us, there’s an auto-auction, there is an optometry clinic, there is a chain of men’s grooming lounges, there is a photography business, there is an entertainment company, there is a sleep centre and we know how to do it and we also know how hard it can be. If you are listening right now, I would highly recommend you to have a coach and Sharita we wrote a book here, I wrote a book here called Start Here.

Sharita: Yes

Clay: Which humbly I believe is the world’s best business book.

Sharita: Yes

Clay: I say that because I have spent thousands, I am not kidding, thousands of hours collecting the world’s best books, business books from the best minds, just obsessing over a period of almost 20 years. I have been self employed since I was 16 years old. I compiled into a book so now you don’t have to read all these business books but you’ve got one business book.


Vanessa: I think – you go first.

Sharita: I was going to say, how many books? Because I know you have that dearth will. [laughs]

Clay: Well, we’re in the man cave right now.

Sharita: How many books would you say that you’ve compiled? I know [unintelligible 01:22:21].

Clay: In that book, we are going to sight hundreds of books, statistics, quotes, stats, we’re in the man cave which is surrounded by the books that I have read and many more. But the thing is, is that you really, really, really have to know what you are doing. If you know by guess work, It’s like going through mind field of business and you are just going through going, “I think I’m just going to go in there blind” and your friends are going, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea for you to go in there completely blind.” “No, it’s good. I’m working through the mind field of business.” You are just blowing up, you are stepping on things, you are having mistakes you shouldn’t be having. You are getting hit with midges and you getting attacked. Guess what? Dr. Zee and I, we weren’t born yesterday. We didn’t start the business yesterday. We’ve gone through that mind field.

Vanessa: I think what really, really, really makes your book stand out is you’ve read so many books and there is so much theory out there but this is a practical book. It has real step by step information so you are not left at the end of how do I apply this theory I just read? It is the actual steps. That’s what I love about it.

Clay: If you go to and you click on store, you can buy that book and I promise you that 550 page book of awesome will walk you through the step by step and the actual steps you need to take to start or grow a successful business. If you are somebody who prefer to watch videos, that is more of your style, we have built the world’s best business coaching platform for you and you will enjoy having help from a business coach. It’s called In, I will tell you what you will get included. They will tell you all the things you can have there. One, you have thousands, I mean thousands. Sharita, you are in the process of uploading one minute clips –

Sharita: Yes.

Clay: – of them to YouTube so people can get a little preview of them. But there are thousands.

Sharita: Thousands, yes.

Clay: Thousands, we interview the world’s top entrepreneurs , millionaires, mentors, everyday success stories, the guy who used to manage Walt Disney World, teaches our management classes, the guy who used to be the PR Consultant for Michael Jackson and Prince, he does our PR courses. Everything is all right there for you. It’s You also have access to downloadables, templates, everything is there.

It really is a business school without the BS and I will tell you this, some people might say, “Well, that’s probably a lot of money I mean, you know, I graduated from T.U and I went to a business college. I know it’s a fact I have a $70,000 student debt. I know that. I do know that, that’s something I know.” But let me tell you this, is $19 a month. Someone says, “$19 a month? I mean, how can it be $19? I mean, is this an alternative universe? Are we going back to 1880s or your teachers drove festers with big beards back in the 1880s?”

No, this is real practical online education, it’s scalable, it’s reputable, it’s accessible for you, no contract, $19 a month, it’s If you don’t believe it, go and Google and the word Forbes, again, and the word Forbes, Forbes magazine. There you will hear more about, the world’s best business school and it is always three, two, one, boom.

Vanessa: Boom.

[01:25:35] [END OF AUDIO]


Let us know what's going on.

Have a Business Question?

Ask our mentors anything.