How to Influence and Communicate with People | The Magic Combination for Creating an Uplifting Conversation – Hour One

 

During this episode of The Thrive Time Business Coach, Clay Clark and Doctor Robert Zoellner break down Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Soft Selling in a Hard World by Jerry Vass and the principles they have learned from careers spent influencing and communicating with people. If you want to take your personal communication skills to the next level you do not want to miss out on this powerful training.

 

 

RULES:
  1. 1. Observe the 70 / 30 Rule of Conversational Generosity
  2. 2. You Must Make the Other Person Feel the Way They Need to Feel to Engage with You

 

NOTABLE QUOTABLE – “The Dale Carnegie training changed my life.” – Warren Buffett (One of the world’s most successful investors) – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7gXaPY524I

 

 

Rapport with F.O.R.E.
  1. Family
  2. Occupation
  3. Recreation
  4. Enjoyment

 

  1. ACTION ITEM – Say, “What great things are going on with your…”
  2. ACTION ITEM – Then say, “Tell me more about that…”
  3. NOTABLE QUOTABLE – “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie (Best-selling author or How to Win Friends and Influence People)
  4. NOTABLE QUOTABLE – “Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.” – Dale Carnegie (Best-selling author or How to Win Friends and Influence People)
  5. NOTABLE QUOTABLE – “The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.” – Dale Carnegie (Best-selling author or How to Win Friends and Influence People)
  6. NOTABLE QUOTABLE – “As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.” – Andrew Carnegie (A man who started working at the age of 13 who went on to become the world’s wealthiest man)

 

 

 

Needs with Ease
  1. 1. Find the Gap Between Where They Are and Where They Want to Be
  2. 2. NOTABLE QUOTABLE – “Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours.” – Dale Carnegie (Best-selling author or How to Win Friends and Influence People)

 

 

Transcription: 

Casting for this evening play Business, School cellar, boom, boom boom and boom. Welcome back to the drive time show on your radio. My name is Clay Clark and the former USS be a  business coach  entrepreneur of the year and, as always,

I have the pleasure of being joined. Your inside the box that rocks with Amanda’s been putting glasses on the business coach  masses, since I was still in high school classes. It’S dr. Robert zoellner go there in about an hour you’re, leaving with business coach  some incredible glasses.

To see how is it possible? Have you been able to serve that many people as possible? It’S it’s smoke and business coach   mirrors and trickery and glitter and Anna and of course, a disco ball disco bands continuously in the practice and that’s kind of good people can destroy a little bit in the next thing.

You know boom out the door and I got your stuff. You know about a business coach  subject. It’S very near and dear to my heart, in this is a subject that really you need to do.

You could put on a laser show. You can talk about this for a month-and-a-half. This is your superpowers: how to influence If you will – and it’s always the one that has the least business coach   personable the one that is,

may be perceived to be rude or the one that perceived not have good, chair side manners that gets to it more often and it’s kind of crazy thing, but he’s a Smarter doctor he had it figured out more, but why is that –

and I think a lot of it has to business coach   deal with that connecting with the patient and making them feel like you know you like them or we’re going to do today business coach   is on the show notes.

I’M going to put a video up there because I thrive time show.com and you click on the podcast button. You can see the show, notes and they’re going to see a video to a minute and a half long.

So it’s a it’s an investment of a minute and a business coach   half. 90 seconds right and Warren Buffett is on a BBC interview and they’re asking him if you’re, if you’re, not careful – and you don’t watch the video and understand what you talking about they’re, asking about how He became super successful.

He says that he business coach  attended Dale, Carnegie’s School of communication and he said at the school he learned how to communicate effectively. He business coach   said it made such a profound impact on his life. He said it did.

Dale Carnegie training changed my life. It goes on to say business coach   he took down his college diploma and replaced it with the Dale Carnegie certificate, because he here in college he learned all these things, but he didn’t know how to communicate with people at so nobody would invest in his Berkshire Hathaway fun.

When you start, he business coach  just couldn’t get people to invest in so Warren Buffett. If he were here today would tell you, you got to listen up its we’re business coach   going to break down to the specific training that they provide in the book,

How to Win Friends and Influence People today on business coach  the radio show and so. There are five parts of it. My friend or five parts of what skill at the top end of the first party okay.,

This business coach  show is normally are shows really geared for the 57 % of the people out there cornea Forbes. They want to start a business right now. Absolutely you know what you get your head wrapped around this: how to win friends and influence people.

I don’t care what you have your own business, while you’re moving up the ladder in a business, whether you’re, whatever you’re, doing in life, eat with your friends and your your your tennis buddies, are tennis, buddies and his buddy.

This helps everybody listen out there. So as you’re getting ready for lunch, it’s noon and we appreciate you listening to show by the way you’re getting your tuna salad are your business coach  off your.

Joe’s Barbecue or whatever, whatever you chose to partake of for lunch today, we appreciate you listening to show – and this Is this? Is this one that shows we can literally say hey? If for everybody, it is for everybody now before we teach you the moves, business coach  there’s 5 Moves, but there’s two rules is like the game of football.

There’S rules. You know that this rule number one. You have to business coach  observe the 70-30 rule of conversational generosity. You have to observe the 70-30 rule, conversational generosity.

That means business coach   that you have to make sure that the other person that you’re the person you’re talking to talks 70 % of the time you’re having business coach  a good conversation when you’re using your two ears to listen twice as much as you do, such a good job.

At that, and I don’t care business coach  whether somebody is a brand new and I’m pulley or an investor or a partner or higher up the food chain or low you have this business coach  magical way of making the other purse feel like you’re, the only person in the world I’ve

Seen you do it and you’re so good business coach  at a camp right now, what’s going on your mind when you’re sitting down with someone for the first time we have to be business coach  purposeful, you can’t be sitting there. Instagramming Facebooking, you know, read your text yeah!

You have to be business coach   there, you really have to be engaged. You have to be purposeful, but I said about my notifications on my phone too, like a business coach  cool Snapchat watch.

This matter from iCloud scores, super high right now and purposeful, and the thing about it is is that business coach  if you are in the conversation – and that is just the rules,

I’ve always followed its great information came here and I’m sorry just business coach  got a text one second pressive, But what happens is it that it leads you well. At least you leaving the conversation that business coach  person saying to themselves, while that guys are great guy, hey brother, what he was nice, he listen to me. He and when you listen

business coach  to them, you can comment on things. Are saying when you have that opportunity, when it’s your turn to talk business coach  you’re 30 % of conversation with Todd updating it? So what happened?

Did you got to put all this distraction to Wayne really listen use business coach  both those ears? Listen to what they’re saying, then you can comment on it and I think one of the things that you’re trying business coach  to gather somebody if you’re, really trying to gather them.

One of the things that people love to talk about when * 70 % of the business coach  time to talk is themselves Obi-Wan Kenobi. While you were just a speaking there. I was just thinking about some of the business coach   things I wanted to say.

It’S really easy to the 70-30 rule with you play because you’re kind of my cock, so you know I know business coach  seriously, I think about it. Sometimes you’re watching people have a conversation and they’re kind of competing.

Your kind of business coach  competing to to get some information out. There kind of competing Road. I wonder what up you bro, what the what the what business coach  the topic is and those are not those are stressful.

Those conversations are it you don’t like a fight. It’S like a verbal fight, the business coach  bite to eat or something terrible. It’S a verbal joust, you know what the opening know.

It’S so frustrating, I’m, obviously just let business coach   it sit there and do I watch it happen in meetings and it’s just so important that you would listen attentively and you write business coach  down with their person is saying and you just looking gauge cuz.

You are engaged now, the other. The movie number 2 and business coach  I’m typing all this up on the show notes, are going to see it. You must make the other person feel the way they need to feel business coach  to engage with you.

You got to make the other person feel that way that they need to feel to engage with you having to give business coach  you too Samantha to two examples.

There was a person in my life right close to me, who is really really into spiritual business coach  manifestation. They love seeing signs and wonders Uncle travel to like Pensacola Florida to see to see them.

They’Re not business coach  trippin on you. They would travel to Pensacola Florida to see signs and wonders why I’m interested in the Patriots. They are business coach  not interested in the Patriots, but they are interested in signs and wonders manifestations of God.

What do if I want to make business coach   this person like me or to participate in the conversation or to just be she’ll, welcome. You know what I did. I’M watching business coach  the Patriots they stay, brought up a conversation about signs and wonders, and manifestations and

I stopped what I was business coach  doing during the break. You don’t, I said, Hi and then I said to tell me more about it, but I took a sincere interest in them which business coach  made them feel the way I wanted them to feel which is appreciated, and then we can have a productive afternoon.

But it’s so business coach  important that you don’t put a ramrod the Patriots down the the mind of somebody who definitely is not interested in business coach  professional football and who really wants to talk about signs and wonders and manifestations in Florida. Right and that’s.

The key business coach  is that you’re, smart enough that you know listen. This is a person that up for whatever reason you fill in the blank, for business coach   whatever reason I went to gather them together.

The general term of you know you on your team. You you want something business coach   from them: you’re trying to sell them something something to do with business or life, and you you want to gather that

business coach  person and then also just be nice, be nice even a stranger to being nice to people too as well always does you Well down the business coach  road, but it is you knowing that you go.

Listen! I’M going to use the 70-30 rule work to talk about what he wants, or she wants to business coach  talk about, and I’m going to show interest in it when it is coming interesting topic and to I want to gather this person

business coach  so that you have to be purposeful In that and listening that the 70 % of time they’re talking you’re one-hundred-percent business coach  listening, because what happened is when you get that 30 %

when it finally kicked back to you – and you can say business coach  something: yes, then you’re 30 % all right now here are the five Moves if you want to learn how to influence to communicate with people the first move, if you want to go over for the five moons before we do the pyramids or the 70-30 rule some more because of

business coach  everybody’s, doing that the number to be talking. So it’s kinda like how do you know when you’re the 71 hear the 30 clay? I mean because you can make a conversation all the sudden you’re, like you, both understand each other.

Like these years ago, we had a member of our business coach  team, who was a very sick, very good, DJ, DJ cash and he had a disproportionate interest in the band Journey. You know he loved journey and I he just love.

Don’T stop you don’t listen to him. I realize that he’s really into Journey yeah, I’m talking to him and he’s business coach  telling me about that. He actually met the guy. You met the dude lying beside. You hit you in the dark in New Jersey.

So what I did I’m trying to convince him to come. Join our DJ team, and so after the meeting I was taking notes in time to get my goal is to get you to business coach  talk 70 % of time right after I sent him an offer or what I would pay him to mail them.

A copy of Journey’s greatest hits and each one of the albums that I ordered it was like a 10 box of a CD. I think about. You filled up his love back and I said to him and he was like yeah business coach  and I’m sure he was offered other opportunities.

He was a nominal DJ with a lot of experience. He just moved to Tulsa and I just listened and he went on and on telling me all the sudden, the compensation package, all the sudden division of the company, those business coach  things didn’t matter.

He just knew that I care and I’m going to leave you with a little bit of a quarter before we go to the break. John Maxwell says: if you lead people by their heart, their head will follow. Oh say that again, if you lead people by their heart, their head will business coach  follow and see. You got, engage people with their hearts eats its value Over the Rainbow they will.

They will find the leprechaun there with you and then together, and you two can ride off into the sunset while riding a unicorn into a black hole with a pot of gold business coach  and then you’ll see what time it’s all good.

It’S all good workout radio show ready to enter the Thrive time show on talk. Radio 1170 see you at the problem is with this intro right here. I don’t ever want to come back. I just want this that drummer of Duty, if you’re business coach   listening to this podcast of the show live today, you have to go and listen to yesterday, show the backstory of that song.

Yes, Sir Richard Branson, I didn’t know it and it will you you’re telling the story play on yesterday show was like. Oh my gosh, that’s like when the coolest business coach  the story behind the story about a successful entrepreneur.

I’M talking about Steve case from AOL. Aol Airbnb been working on Amazon Apple, all the companies, you know, but the stories you don’t know I’m pretty excited about the month of November. It’S going to business coach  be fun facts.

We try to give you practical steps on how to start and grow a business. Then also, you know what some of the stories behind the scenes you want us to the most enjoyable cuz, you kind of like a failure, maybe success or maybe a little bit of both they business coach  went through that to Eric shop, is on the show.

Today. Are you doing my friend? I couldn’t be any better if I don’t think he’s up and coming business coach. Well, here’s the thing tribe Drive Nation thing about Eric chop and I want to brag on him – is that we have a business coach  ystem here.

I called the system. This is why I called the system: that’s what we’re going to consist of what the working title, but this is kind of the thing is when you want to be a business coach, you have to start by learning how everything works and you have to business coach  demonstrate Mastery Level so I started out doing search engine work.

Then he moved up Tina sales calls and video ography, so the last two-and-a-half years you’ve been going through this whole solar system, and so now he knows all of the systems. All business coach  the moves instead of teaching a client will be around.

This – is how you make an outbound sales call them previously to come here. He actually managed to company. So he is, he has the DNA G eazy’s real deal with our business that we have here?

What is that we need business coach   to make them wear a belt about a certain color belts in Karate Dojo of a Mojo here. I think we should have them until like we starting off what is like a white belt and now what you’re telling me now is that Jeff would be wearing the black belt right, yellow.

I business coach  think it’s one and two. What we can do is that way just buy a quick glance of the business coaches. I’Ll know: oh, that’s a yellow belt.

I don’t know that’s why I keep finding urine-soaked white belts on the counter. With a note from Jeff say this is for you that way. When business coach   people come in, they say that they’re being attended by a brown belt or bad about to go, get this guy.

This guy knows the 80s 80s hair band music by your head, permed talking about baby magical system to influence and communicate with people, but before we business coach   do that, we have a question from an actual

Thrive coaching, the industry and the question my friend well I’d like to Start by saying it was a good intro there cuz. I have been waiting for this moment. All my life guys play here.

There will be no it’s just a hard-working business coach  young man he’s growing Revenue goals this year. Things are rocking and rolling rock. It turns out. Somebody got a hold of him, saying: hey I’m coming for you,

I’m starting a business, and I could either by you and this other competition guy out or I’m going to steal business coach  your Market, I’m just going to come.

Take it all. So you said words, he said. Were forceful word, where is to try to push me around, so I experienced some sort of situation like this on the business level and just the emotional side of dealing with this one.

So it’s like business coach  somebody attacking your kid right. Hey bud! I’M going to start with a here. I will give you an Andrew Carnegie quote. I love Andrew Carnegie because he started working at the age of 13 because he noticed that his mom and dad couldn’t pay the bills it’s at the age of business coach   13.

Apparently he told his father hey. I’ll, go to work. If I need to 13 years old and he has available right now, he says, as I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say.

I just watch what they do, so I have just seen a lot of people throughout the years. Call me with business coach  my company DJ connection or elephant in the room and threats, but when I fall, I went to the fruit of their lives and I followed it back to the route.

I realized they had a big hat, no cattle. They had a lot of claims, not a lot of success. They were not Bonafide, they business coach  were fictitious, they were felonious, they were not real and most of those threats have been turned out to be just somebody just making Henry puffer EMP threat.

However, there has been a couple times where I have been attacked by competitor who has business coach  success and that’s a different way. I would handle that but see what would you say if somebody is threatening call from a competitor or some sort of their Puffin themselves up and try to intimidate?

You ever happened to you, my friend, oh yeah, so how did you do business coach  that? I just ran to the going to the crane pose and I’d start kicking some random cuz.

I just dropped throat punching people around it, but didn’t like her that got no. No! No! What you doing she said. Okay, you don’t want in the day. You think that not everyone for business coach   competition is thinking that is it that you’ve lost write.

Another word everybody out. There is thinking the same thing, I’m coming for your business, I’m coming for your business. She needs you that the business coach  same as you want to come over your business.

What’S my people come in and said, Hey, listen to have a database of your of your patients will send them on our company’s nickel will send them a letter. You know from both of us but a letter to them talking about this business coach   new product we have and the new the new thing that’s coming out.

I said I in fact I do have a list of my patients and I let it go, get it and I went back and got now play you’re old enough to shut up. You may not realize it, but it’s a thing called a phone book young to business coach  know what that was a big thick book with everybody’s names and phone numbers and addresses they took the phone book and I handed it to that rapper.

I said those are my patients and they said they said well. This is the entire city of Tolleson, all the outlying suburbs. I business coach  said yes they’re mine and they look at me and I said you can put that your databases, those are mine.

They just look at me like that kind of talk to her like you’re, crazy, so just a real competitor. They got the threat from the size of the real threat. This is a guy business coach  who’s, threatening to start of this season, not even start of the person that called you to talk about this.

If you get a chance to watch the movie Pumping Iron, you can find it on YouTube or Amazon with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold, what are the things he explains is that he business coach  used to the morning of the competition would walk up to his the competitor who’s, winning who, who is favored to win the guy?

Who would win mr. universe and you explain to them I’d say you look like you gained a little weight and then we just get up there. You business coach  must have eaten a lot of salt anyway, just get them where they were like unsure of themselves moments before posing for the biggest event of their life, I’m run, and he would always get that extra little

Competitive Edge should know what the competition steal. Your business coach  joy don’t talk trash you just move on press on. My name is Clay Clark, I’m a business coach, no broadcasting from the center of the universe and the thrive15.com world headquarters.

It’S that thrive time show that’s the Man by The Killers in, if you’re looking to business coach  become the woman or the man you’re going to have to learn how to influence and communicate with people.

You’Ve got to learn how to influence people, how to communicate with people. It’S so important that you’re able to know the winning combination for creating business coach  an uplifting conversation and step never once you’ve got to build.

Rapport with for okay report was for the S stands for family o stands for occupation, the r stands for recreation and the E stands for enjoyment. When she, when you meet somebody new, you business coach  want to say so.

Tell me what great things are going on with your family and it’s important. You say what great things are going on with your family, because if you just say how is your family going, typically people will default to the worst thing.

That’S what most people business coach  do. You know my kids got a rash and I’m actually having a dispute with my wife. You know what great things going on with your family. When you ask some of these questions, you’ll notice won the pot.

The conversations are more positive, but to the personal business coach  pause for a moment and have to think about something positive and it’s so important. You ship, the conversation upward is that what is a super move day?

What you did to everybody out there listening right now, try that today, it’s an absolute moved and you business coach  know you’ll be amazed at how it’ll how many of our conversations we have out there are in the dirt or negative, are more people complaining, and this is a

Way to start off a conversation started for relationships, start off pay a day and have it be on the positive business coach  side, what great things are going on your family and that just puts it around me that such negativity around you that you’ve got to be so intention

To craft the conversation after you say what great things are going on with your excetera, I encourage you to say tell me business coach  more about that. Tell me more about that yeah! You want to get the person talking to you.

I actually did this with my cousin at a family Burger night last Friday night he was the best man at my wedding, we’re best friends. We go back for our whole lives right and we business coach   sat down on the patio Morgan Hill cigar.

Just kind of talk hang out with the dads out there, and I said him and what’s great in your life right now and he kinda looked at me like what what wait? What cuz?

I don’t know that I’d ever intentionally ask him that, after 34, 35 years business coach   of being together all the time, and so we had a really good conversation about his work, he’s been promoted, he’s at leading this teacher training program and they’re actually videoing him teaching clay so That they can do play-by-play feedback and it was just business coach  cool to actually got issues like all works.

Good, it’s good this year, it’s good. Nobody got like detailed, and I was like man. I was a good connection and what that does is it gives you? Don’T most people our age, don’t don’t brag brag, we don’t we don’t brag, we business coach  don’t. We don’t show plywood gas in my tank right to that sometimes can be a little annoying person.

Who will tell you the potential great thing may be such a great things in your life like mr. mr. Mick, when a person? Yes exactly what to talk about the promotion business coach  to talk about that they don’t sound, braggadocious and I’ll feel better.

If they don’t, they don’t feel bad about it and let you know that got a big smile on their face or like 8, and they may not even realize how much they wanted to talk about that business coach  and you giving them permission and you open the door for That and now it’s a lovely conversation which of this in this ties into the next notable quotables from Dale Carnegie agree with you.

He says you can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people that you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. He goes on to say, actions speak louder than words in a smile says.

I, like you, you make me happy and I’m glad to see you. That is me just think about the profundity. If you actually smiled now, I’m going to give an example yesterday was this the store that I was telling you guys.

I went to Home Goods something like that. Okay, or is he out? My wife goes to buy drapes for my daughter, so I said I’ll stay out in the Hummer, so I started on the car, so I still have the business coach  car and a person literally

Taps on my window and says, excuse me and this person tapped on the window And it precedes to business coach  get intense about the fuel consumption or perceived fuel consumption, of a large SUV going through in life to provide unsolicited business coach  feedback to someone who’s parking in their car with the windows house right.

So I think this conversation will then I was business coach  taking notes for Today Show so I go to quick trip to get some gas. I got to get some gas when I’m getting gas, there’s a guy who business coach  apparently doesn’t think the other person’s pumping gas fast enough and kind of gives him that not courtesy honk like that.

Like it’s time to wrap up here, and you realize Asian that most people are carrying around with them, they just got into an altercation. They business coach  just had a weird situation, they’re just going through something and if you’ll be the person who will say hey.

Tell me what great things are time with your family, your occupation, your Recreation. I would do all four and every single conversation, so I would say that’s business coach  great to see if you know what great things are going on with your family and if that’s a swing-and-a-miss to go.

Where are you never going through some stuff, but we’ll talk about your job? What great things are going on there and if it’s like, we don’t have to do business coach  this weekend.

What kind of hobbies are you into? Well, I do enjoy of making a handmade Ducks out of a reclaimed. Barn wood business coach  got all the way down here on the edge you got through hanging by your little toe nails.

Right, there’s likely still be a little business coach  something here come on. If you get this conversation going to be methodical, can’t do that to me you know: cuz,

I’ve got a business coach  curiosity sure that is, you know, on the high level of curiosity, old, very old, old lady, a price, a bright 80s okay, so you unroll your business coach   window and Then, how does it work with you that conversation.

Excuse me, you can I help you. I just want to know how business coach  many miles a gallon. Do you get in this? Guy said it’s 8 on the side right there.

A point is it’s like 11 on the highway and then ate when it’s in city and she’s, just what everybody use the resources that your vehicle uses in at that point, I’m mentally tuning out what business coach   you want and then I looked at her and I said: are You done and then I rolled the window. That was it about at least things I wanted to say, and I was like he controlled. It was like.

I was like you know. What did you want to say? I need phone number to. Why can’t business coach  even say what I wanted to say on the air, because I thought of it at the moment I thought I was like. I cannot say what I’m going to say. Cuz.

I have a quick wit and I will say if I get in an argument with you, it always ends in someone else crying. So I just don’t want to get business coach  into that. I must go to make that little grandmother cry.

What is the tip of my sweet Jesus? Please, please repeat my mind for even having thought that I’m so sorry baby Jesus, you guys from Dale Carnegie. He says the difference between appreciation and flattery that business coach  simple, what is sincere and the other is insincere.

What comes from the heart out, the other from the teeth out? What is unselfish, the other selfish? What is universally admired and the other is universally condemned.

So when you are offering praise, you want to make sure you’re offering sincere prayers. We come back over to talk about what that means, when your build rapport, sincere Braves versus false praise, a doctor’s owner is so good at this. How do you manage a team of hundreds employees? How do you manage multiple business coach  businesses?

What starts with being able to be likeable to be a good communicator and there’s nobody better than doctors eat when it comes to communication, the influence to communicate with the people?

You are not going to want to miss this next, this next business coach  segment on the radio. I’M a business coach, no broadcasting from the center of the universe and the thrive15.com world headquarters in.

So that’s the Man by The Killers in if you’re looking to become the woman or the man you’re going to have to learn how to business coach   influence and communicate with people. You’Ve got to learn how to influence people, how to communicate with people.

It’S so important that you’re able to know the winning combination for creating an uplifting conversation and step number one as you’ve got to build rapport with for okay

Report with, for the S stands for family o stands for occupation, the r stands for recreation and the E Stands for enjoyment when she, when you meet somebody new, you want to say so tell me what great things are going on with your family and it’s business coach   important.

You say what great things are going on with your family, because if you just say how is your family going, typically business coach  people will default to the worst thing. That’S what most people do?

You know my kids got a rash and I’m actually having a dispute business coach  with my wife. You know what great things going on with your family. When you ask some of these questions, you’ll notice business coach   won the pot.

The conversations are more positive but to the personal pause for a moment and have to think about something positive and it’s so important. You ship the conversation up words that super move day.

What you did to everybody out there listening business coach  right now, try that today, it’s an absolute move – and you know you’ll – be amazed at how it’ll how many of our conversations we have out there are in the dirt or negative, are more people complaining, and this is a

Way to start off a conversation starter for relationships business coach   start off pay a day and have it be on the positive side, what great things are going on your family, and I made that just puts it around me that such negativity around you that you’ve got to be So intention to craft the conversation after you say what great things are business coach  going on with your excetera.

I encourage you to say tell me more about that. Tell me more about that yeah! You want to get the person talking to you. I actually did this with my cousin at a family Burger night last Friday night he was the best man at my wedding, business coach  we’re best friends. We go back for our whole lives right and we sat down on the patio Morgan Hill cigar.

Just kind of talk hang out with the dads out there, and I said him and what’s great in your life right now, and he got it looked at me like what wait wait. What cuz? I don’t business coach  know that I’d ever intentionally asked him that, after

34, 35 years of being together all the time, and so we had a really good conversation about his work, he’s been promoted, he’s at leading this teacher training program and they’re actually videoing him business coach   teaching clay so That they can do play-by-play feedback, and so it was just cool to actually got issues like all works.

Good, it’s good this year, it’s good know any details, and I was like man. I was a good connection. It gives you don’t most people our age, don’t brag business coach   brag, we don’t we don’t brag, we don’t.

We don’t show plywood gas in my tank right, you looking at the man and the people that sometimes can be a little annoying person. Who will tell you the potential great thing they did such a great things in your life, like business coach   mr. Mick, when a person?

Yes exactly what that does to talk about the promotion to talk about that they don’t sound, braggadocious and I’ll feel bad. If they don’t don’t feel, don’t feel bad about it and let you know that got a big smile on their face or like 8, and they may not even realize how much they wanted to talk about that and you’ve.

Given them permission and you you open the door for that, and now it’s a lovely conversation which of this in this, this ties into the next notable quotables from Dale Carnegie is Dale.

Carnegie would agree with you. He says you can make more friends in 2 months by becoming interested in other people. Then you can in 2 years by trying to get other people interested in you. He goes on to say, actions speak louder than words and a smile says I like you, you make me happy and I’m glad to see you.

That is me just think about the profundity if you actually smiled now going to give an example yesterday, what was this? The store that I was telling you guys I went to Home Goods something like that..

My wife goes to buy drapes for my daughter, so I said I’ll stay out in the Hummer, so I started on the car, so I still have the car and a person literally Taps on my window and says, excuse me and this person tapped on the window

And it precedes to get intense about the fuel consumption or perceived fuel consumption, of a large SUV going through in life to provide unsolicited feedback to someone who’s parking in their car with the windows house right. So I think this conversation will then I was taking notes for

Today Show so I go to quick trip to get some gas. I got to get some gas when I’m getting gas, there’s a guy who apparently doesn’t think the other person’s pumping gas fast enough and kind of gives him that not courtesy honk like that.

Like it’s time to wrap up here, and you realize Asian that most people are carrying around with and they just got into an altercation, they just had a weird situation: they’re just going through something and if you’ll be the person who will say hey.

Tell me what great things are time with your family, your occupation, your Recreation. I would do all four and every single conversation, so I would say that’s so great to see if you know what great things are going on with your family and if that’s going to miss to go. Where are you never going business coach  through some stuff, but we’ll talk about your job?

What great things are going on there and it was like well as a swing and Recreation? What great things did you do this weekend? What kind of hobbies are you into? Well, I do enjoy of making a handmade business coach

Ducks out of a reclaimed, barn, wood, but all the way down here on the edge you got through hanging by your little toe nails business coach  right there, you, just like police, still be a little something here come on.

If you get this conversation, can’t do that to me you know: cuz, I’ve got a curiosity sure that is, you know on the high level of curiosity, old, very old, old lady at Price, a bright 80s okay, so you unroll business coach  your window and then how does it?

Wobble to the conversation., Can I help you out. I just want to know how many miles a gallon. Do business coach  you get in? That’S why I said it’s 8. What’S on the side right there a point it’s just like 11 on the highway and then ate when it’s business coach  in city and she’s, just what everybody use:

the resources that your vehicle uses in at that point, I’m mentally tuning out what you want, and then I looked At her – and I said, are you done and then I rolled the window? That was it about things I wanted to say and I was business coach  like he controlled and see what I meant was. I was like you know. What did you want to say?

I can’t even say what I wanted to say on the air, because I thought of it at the moment. I thought I was like. I cannot say what I’m going to say. Cuz, I have a quick business coach  wit and I will say if I get in an argument with you, it always ends in someone else crying.

So I just don’t want to get into that little grandmother cry. What are you doing? There was just some things that were really tip of tongue tip of mine. I thought you know what business coach   would Jesus please, please repeat my mind for even having taught that I’m so sorry baby Jesus.

He says the difference between appreciation and flattery that simple. What is sincere and the other is insincere, what comes from the heart out, the other, from business coach   the teeth out?

What is unselfish, the other selfish? What is universally admired and the other is universally condemned. So when you are offering praise, you want to make sure you’re offering sincere prayers. We come back and we’ll talk about that mean when your build business coach  rapport, sincere Braves versus false praise.

A doctor’s owner is so good at this. How do you manage a team of hundreds employees? How do you manage multiple businesses? What starts with being able to be likeable to be a good communicator and there’s business coach   nobody better than dr. Z when it comes to communication stage of the influence of communicate with people?

You are not going to want to miss this next, this next segment on your radio. I’M a business coach get ready to enter the Thrive time show on talk. Radio 1170.

Think business coach  about this thought for just a second. If somebody was marking your words – and this is a big thing that I have struggled with and I feel like it – took me about 10 years of business to do this, but Carlton Pearson and I know Carlton Pearson –

I used to be a pastor business coach   and if you’re Listening right now and tallest people listing all around the world, but Carlton Pearson, I was the number one personality from the ratings on Kristen television.

At the end of the Christian Broadcasting Network, CBN Pat Robertson and Joel Osteen, those business coach   kind of people, he was the number one rated guy and is also the pastor of my church and I’d reached out to Carlton.

To advise me as a speaker. You know it took to pay somebody to cut a coach me and give me that feedback as a speaker, and he made a statement business coach  to me one day that blew my mind. It made me want to recant a lot of what I done in my life.

I wanted to go back and right some wrongs, but he said Mr Clarke remember when you speak publicly that you do not spell words, but your words cast a spell on people.

What business coach  is it, you say: have the ability to change somebody’s life for the positive or to turn it to the negative, and I said you tell kind of in a very interested – and he explained to me so you know: there’s been people over the years who I’ve

Told them I don’t know business coach  what it is, but I sense that you’re going to go on to be as Brave, successful entrepreneur. I just there’s something about you in the momentum you have, and I just see you really doing some big things in your life, but he’s like and I’ll come back ten years later and business coach  say that little word of encouragement for me is the spark I needed to

Believe that I could do it and there’s he says he said, there’s other people to church, though, who are stuck and they’re in a cycle of a job after job after job of in dead-end job there that business coach  they may quit things, they start things they quit them.

It’S because of parent or someone who told them you’re a quitter, never going to grow up and do anything with your life you’re an idiot and they tasted those words cast a spell on them.

They almost felt like they business coach  were under, they had they had to live up to the expectations or the lack thereof. But it’s amazing to see how it, if you’re, not careful about influencing people and communicate with people in a positive way, how your words can really injure people, but also business coach   the power to uplift.

Can you talk about that a little bit and what happened is that can get your kind of? Maybe I’m marked person and what I mean by that is that, if you’re going around and your your edifying other words you’re lifting people up, you are a prophetic business coach  word, but I won’t

won’t go down that rabbit trail bike dirt, you’re, encouraging your edifying. The people feel renewed, they feel uplifted, they feel encouraged after they visit with you, you become common, sometimes it’ll be a Marked Man, because what happens? Is that go? Oh yeah, I’m feeling down I’m going to call Billy.

Yes, cuz he’s always so positive and I’m negative time to call Billy to help me get my day turned around right now gets phone call from you and from the other person and another person that are pretty pretty soon.

That positive person could feel like everybody say, so you have to be kind of careful. That’S why you have to be able to put up good guard rails around your life. If you are a positive person like that, Clique is what happens?

Is that give a lot of people when you’re the light mods are drawn to it? You know bugs are gone to innocence it when you really positive. And I’m encouraging it be that way.

Sometimes you can be a little overwhelming on you and I’ve seen people that are real positive, get overwhelmed by people trying to trying to get that positive word from them everyday all day, and can I can I share a little bit sappy and then you can just Say so, stop it stop.

Looking at you turn 53 and a party, and inviting me was the highlight of my business career, have any award of anything. That’S awesome because you’re a really positive guy in the one thing I never wanted to do to you as Jim Stovall me, I can’t say we’re best friends with Jim Stovall. What is a friend and he’s always encouraging, but I never want to be a parasite.

I never want to be a person who takes from a relationship. Yes, I always want to have a win-win. Yes – and I put the time in my business career where I wanted other people outside forces to motivate me or to get me fired us, and I would go to these people in a like yourselves.

I didn’t want to do it, but I’m sure at times I did where I thought it was like I needed. So I need someone to fill me up and you were like a glass of water you’d like for your whole self into me.

You must leave the conversation feeling drained where you like man, this guy. He needs a lot of help. You gave all the gas out of your tank to business coach  somebody else.

It’S typing it out in to get to a place where hopefully you’ll feel like it’s a win-win that that to me the symbiotic business coach  relationship is what I strive for, and that’s a sustainable one right and they can you talk about that..

Can someone listen to? They? Don’T know business coach  how to influence people but would rather do it, is then realize that they have become a parasitic relationship, not meaning business coach  to be, but if you were talking to a younger me or a guy who’s, just always on always need somebody else to pump them up.

What business coach  advice would you give well being true to yourself look in the mirror and really giving yourself a true assessment of how you are is a difficult thing. A lot of people don’t want to come with to the naked truth of who they are and what they become and business coach  how they’re living their life. You will always want to kind of.

Sometimes we have a view of ourselves. It’S a little bit of a fantasy of you and when you’re around people like that, they’re they’re not much fun to be around when people don’t have a true view of themselves.

That’S business coach  the best thing you can do is start with looking in the mirror and saving yourself. When was the last time, I said something encouraging to someone just for the fun of it right in your self that and remember when it was, and if you can’t remember when it was probably business coach  need you maybe never done it or it’s been so long ago.

You forgot about it here is one move. I do that ties into this because I remember reading a Dale Carnegie book and I ask myself the same realizing that I never did this and so,

if you’ve ever been a victim of business coach   me doing this you’ll understand. But I put on my list every day one person that I’m going to call out of the blue and praise for what they mean to me and usually it’s like a blindsided thing where they like.

Why are you calling me what your motive? I don’t have a business coach  motive other than like I’m trying to be purposeful about being positive and there’s so many people that make a little impact,

I’m never going to the bank one time until the way I said I just want you to know. I really appreciate you always being positive. Every time I drop stuff business coach   off at means the world to me and the fact you should have been my dad’s funeral was crazy awesome.

So I just want to tell you you’re the best I think it starts bawling at the bank and she was like there’s just business coach  what was that about it, there’s no nothing.

I just wanted you to know, and I’m thinking like maybe you’re, going to ask for a loan or a maybe, but when it drops in it, settles and five or six days later. It’S amazing how that that impact in it, and I only do that because

Clifton business coach  taulbert and Paul pressey and meet people in my life have always done that for me, and it really really means the world to people’s homes in action item for you right now.

It’S right down a person every single day for the next 30 days, one person and walk up to him and business coach   check fuses in the office. You some of the people you’re trading up right now.

Doesn’T it kind of herbal bouquet go along way longer than you even realize that what these guys are saying is true. If your purposeful about those words, then people will start to be drawn business coach  to you right, because they’re they’re, remembering those interactions they’ve had with you any man.

I really feel good. After talking to you, I would like to hear more of what he has to say or whatever you know it’s a huge thing of the next next step forward to go to teach you business coach   the 5 Moves.

I had an influence to communicate with people who number to, as you want to be able to find somebody’s needs with ease. You want to find the gap between where they are and where they want to be.

If you’re doing sales, you want to figure out how business coach   you can help them if you’re doing friendship, you want to figure out. How can you help that person and in a way that the end is sincere if you’re doing sales or friendship?

It’S the same thing you’re, trying to help the other party you’re trying to do business coach  something kind. What you realize its sales is not about zero-sum games. Are you winning and then losing in fact that your birthday party there’s a guy stood up and it was he with the Lexus dealership dealership? Was he so he’s?

Actually, yes – and he was a guy that you business coach   pursued his business, and this is what makes you so awesome you pursued the guy to for his business at, but you also pursued the friendship and they’re, not mutually exclusive ideas.

Now you’ve established such a win-win, but he’s one of the 25 people business coach   at your birthday. Can you explain how that happens? It’S awesome my friend. Well, you know I didn’t think about it.

Is that it’s so funny and business everybody. Everybody wants to say this line. It’S nothing personal, it’s just business. Absolutely business coach  I did what I did but don’t take it. You know it’s just it’s just busy.

I just I just hit you with the word pipe because you’re just not something. I do it’s just business, but the thing about it is: it’s not just business. People want to do business with people they like, and if you business coach   think that just the draw numbers they’ll get you sometimes the business, but they may not. Let you hang on to it.

For a long time, but come on, if you combined friendship and good business into won, Super Bowl, Pritchett guess what you will get the business you hang business coach   on to the business and it will not waver when you have those tough time cuz.

You always have a number to tough times in a business and not us when we have to tough times you’ll be able to rid of that. Storm was going to happen.

Is you want to make deposits into love bank because eventually you’re going to screw up when you do you want there to be a little bit of capital there, a little early, a relationship?

And we come back here to teach you how to influence, to communicate with people ever going to teach you move number 3 going to want to know who never three, because it is a game-changer. We understand it’s about time, show radio station

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