There are two types of people in this world. Ones that are on your side, you know, the people that are excited for your success and encourage you to hit your goals. Then, there are those that are against you. The people that criticize your work, are constantly negative and are resentful because they are jealous of your success. This week business coach Jonathan pointed this out and stated that people are either adding to your life or subtracting from it, they are either in your way or on your team and if they are even slightly against you, you have to get them out of your life. Anyone who subtracts from the quality of your life is not worth your time, at the end of the day the only thing that matters is that I do what is best for myself, my husband, and my baby. So if anyone hinders that, they don’t deserve my time or consideration.
This was brought up when another business coach brought up “mom guilt”. If you haven’t heard of this before it is the guilt that other moms place on moms who either choose to work or choose to be a stay at home mom because they believe that either way you choose you are somehow being a bad mom. When this was brought up Jonathan made a powerful point that this (along with any other opinions given by irrelevant people) could only be a thing if you allowed it to be. This was great for me to hear because even though I am still 4 weeks away from having a baby other women are already trying to make me feel bad for the choices I have made, such as continuing to work “so close to my due date”, continuing to hang out with friends and leave my house with all of the coronavirus panics. These are choices that I made because I still want to live a happy life, I still want to work, I still want to earn a living…for my daughter…. Jonathan pointed out to the other business coach that even though the majority of the “mom guilt” was coming from family members, you should still cut them out. Jonathan said that even if they are 60% positive and 40% negative they are still not worth it. That caused me to think about the people in my life that are not all bad but I definitely do not enjoy my time with them and they have polar opposite life views from me and my husband. It caused me to imagine a life where, instead of visiting them or talking with them, we spent time with our favorite people. The result was a much more peaceful and enjoyable life.
The people that criticize your work, are constantly negative and are resentful because they are jealous of your success.
Cutting people out is a skill I have definitely fine-tuned since my time at Thrive, I have always had the policy of “I’m not going to hang out with people for the sake of not being alone,” alone has never bothered me, in fact, I prefer it. However, the biggest shift in my mentality since coming to Thrive is that family members and childhood friends are included in that group of people that you are allowed to cut out of your life. Just because you are related or have known them for a long period of time does not mean that they are automatically entitled to your time, and deserve your respect. Those things are earned.
This is a skill that would benefit many of our business coaching clients. Many times the business owner that we work with is very hardworking and motivated but their immediate circle of friends and family is not. In fact, they are often antagonistic to the growth of the business owner. This can become problematic quickly which is why surrounding yourself with people that only add to your life is so vital.