A Business Coach Thoughts on Value Your Values
The always epic Jocko Willink once said, “Your values and your goals should always be aligned. They should not be adversarial. They should not be counterintuitive. If you’re setting up goals that are contrary to your values then you’re going to have issues”.
I mean, if that right there doesn’t qualify as your weekly business coach knowledge bomb folks then I don’t know what the hell could possibly top that. Now, I know I typically hit on topics that I’ve learned throughout the week and how they can relate to the growth of my coaching clients as well as provide solid business advice for our readers. However, I wanted to get a little more personal this week. I wanted to really emphasize the importance of values. I don’t simply want to break down what values are, but rather explore the importance of values and how they directly affect one’s decisions, career path, and overall life. I promise that if you stick with me on this sappy, oddly emotional journey, you too might just realize how your values have or are impacting your current situation.
So, What Exactly Are Your Values?
Values are defined as “the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something”. See to me, that’s a little too mathematical. I’m talking about the more meta definition of VALUES here. In the field of ethics, values are defined as “a person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life”. Okay, now we’re talking! A person’s values can say a lot about them. What one business coach or person holds as important is a very defining characteristic. The consistent application and pursuit of one’s values will dictate their entire path in life. Strong values can help reap a very fulfilling and happy life. If you value things such as hard work and diligence, keeping to your weekly schedule, maintaining strong relationships, honesty, or any one of the other positive values you will no doubt attract like-minded people as well as opportunities that align with your values. But keep in mind, values are a double-edged sword. If you have weak values such as rewards before delayed gratification, relaxation before putting in any effort or work, empty friendships based on attention alone, or the pursuit of vices as a form of entertainment, you my friend are on the fast track to leaving this life either very quickly, or in an extremely depressing and unmemorable fashion. Good values equal a good life. Bad values equal misery. It’s as simple as that.
Don’t Get Trapped In A Situation That Goes Against Your Values
Have you ever been in a situation that gives you a weird feeling in your stomach? You know, kind of like the floor dropped out from underneath you and now all you can feel is the sudden pressure and uneasiness that comes with falling? My friends, this can be defined as many things: guilt, fear, anxiety, worry, etc. But what it really is at its core is cognitive dissonance. It’s the moment of grief when you realize that you’re committing to actions that go against your values. If you ever find yourself experiencing this feeling when in the company of friends or family, that should serve as a warning sign. As hard as it is to admit for most, we are all involved in one way or another with people that we should not have in our lives as they do not support our values. If you’re having trouble understanding this idea, please use me as an example. I take pride in my values, but I’m not perfect and have struggled with lapses in judgment where I let someone’s personality win me over rather than their values. We as humans tend to let emotion drive most of our decision making which in turn leads to mistakes. It is imperative that we use our moral compasses and steer ourselves towards those who mirror our values, or at the very least simply agree with them.
Basically, people with opposing values end up going in different directions. I recently found myself in a rather awkward and upsetting point in my life. For years I had been giving my all in a relationship that I had no idea was based on emotion alone rather than values. For a while, everything seemed normal and good because the overpowering forces of emotions were masking the not so subtle differences within the relationship. It wasn’t until our values came into focus that the damage started to occur. I value working hard. To the point where I can work 7 days a week as a business coach and not worry about what time I get home as long as I’ve completed my tasks. I value wholesome friendships that require commitment and communication on a regular basis. I value honesty. Unfortunately, not only did they not value these things, but they also did not support my strong belief in them. As a result, our differing values became a wound that festered over time until it was finally time for us to amputate the relationship. All of this could have been avoided had I taken a step back at the beginning and really looked for my values within them.
Compromise Is Good, But Never Compromise Your Values
As with any friendship, relationship, or partnership, compromises will always occur. It is important to remember that you can always compromise on decisions or actions, but you should never compromise on your business coach values. Your values define you and are going to be the navigating points that will lead you to the life that you desire. Surrounding yourself with those who are counter to your values is a great way to end up adopting values that are poisonous to your goals, or to end up regretting the decisions you’ve made in the name of momentary comfort. The simple steps to living a value-rich life are as follows: Define your values, commit to every day, look for those that can help you maintain your values, avoid anything that is in opposition to your values.