What I have learned this week really set into stone what I knew what I needed to work on but had no idea how to put it into words. It’s a skill set that 98 out of 100 people haven’t mastered and do not think is a problem. The problem that I face and others in the business coaching program face is the habit of oversharing and saying what they think and feel. In Outwitting The Devil , Napoleon Hill talked about how one of the powerful tools of the Devil is to make a habit of oversharing and to say what they are feeling. Many people do not realize that when they think they are being “real” and “themselves” what they are really doing is just being a person that is unpleasant to be around. Napoleon Hill goes on to say that other habits that we form that are pointless go on and drag us down even further with other bad habits. These bad habits only serve to distance ourselves from who we can become.
The problem that I have as part of the business coaching program and continue to work on is not just sitting back and listen to what others are saying. While reading this week the fact that the only physical thing I have control over is myself. The fact that it is up to me if I am going to say something sarcastic, am going to get the job done. The fact is when I stopped and listened to people when they talked and let the other person talk was HUGE! There is a huge disadvantage when it comes to oversharing and “being real”. In all of the reading and studying that I have done over the super successful people in life have all been the same way. They all have been men and women who have been hard workers that have been known as listeners. When I first used the art of not saying anything and just having them share was a turning point for me.
Many people do not realize that when they think they are being “real” and “themselves” what they are really doing is just being a person that is unpleasant to be around.
There is a second part of not being an oversharer is when one overshares it gives the other person more information than needed and it could, in turn, tarnish your reputation. The reputation that I have is one that I must cherish and protect with everything that I have. If I have a reputation for sharing more information than necessary, people won’t trust me with sensitive information or tell me things at all. The subtle art of balancing being and a good listener and knowing when to give me two cents is something that I know I need to work on.
I know that the natural man in me wants to overshare, wants to give my thoughts and opinions on what other people say and do. That is a big thing that I have learned over the past week while I have been at Thrive during the business coaching program meetings. The art of controlling my natural self, listening and protecting my reputation has been a major turning point in my dealing with people that I work and interact with.