This week at the ThriveTime headquarters during the business coach meeting we watched a trailer for a documentary about Roger Stone. Roger stone is a conservative political consultant. He is a polarized individual that many deeply hate and others love. In this trailer, he said, “I revel in your hatred because if I weren’t effective, you wouldn’t hate me.” BOOM! Just marinate on that for a second… If you are effective you WILL be hated. So enjoy that hate, you worked hard for it! If you have haters that means you’re doing something right! As a business coach, I see our clients receive a ton of hate when they start hitting their goals. Most recently a client of mine received hate for speaking out against local corruption. When people learned of her successful business they tried to tear it apart (to no avail mind you). Clients also receive flack for missing family events, getting up early, saying no to employees and friends, firing lazy employees, and much more.
If you are effective you WILL be hated.
Think of people who are publicly hated for their success. Like Donald Trump. It is trendy to hate him. Even though the economy has been booming since he has been in office, even though he is exposing corruption, even though he has not hindered nor revoked anyone God-given rights, he is still one of the most hated men in the country. Why? Because he is effective, because he gets crap done, and because he doesn’t care about people’s feelings. He does what he deems best regardless of being crucified by the media.
Thankfully as a business owner it is not likely that you will receive that level of hatred but you DEFINITELY will be hated by many. Clay talked to the other business coach about how you will be hated by one client and loved by the other for the exact same coaching. Some people will love direction, coaching, and growth. Others will hate you for it. And guess what? You have zero control over that! So do not stress if you’ve got some haters. That means you are headed in the right direction.
If you are a former people pleaser, like me, this can be hard to overcome. You may be tempted to try and compromise on your values or your goals simply to make everyone happy. DO NOT do that. Not only will that person still hate you, but you will also seriously hinder your own happiness and growth. Long before I came to Thrive I made a conscious decision that I wanted to care less about others’ opinions but not much changed until I came to Thrive. Clay coached me to visualize a BB hitting a battleship. That image has stuck with me. Whenever a client is mad at me, or when a family member attacks me and my husband’s life choices I simply laugh. I picture a pathetic little BB hitting a battleship and move on with my life. The thing about emotions is that others LOVE to dwell on them, they love to be offended or hurt, sometimes they are even offended for people other than themselves. They let these feelings control their lives, their growth, and their happiness. So don’t do that, don’t dwell on any feeling, and if someone is offended, great! Let that eat up their day, not yours. Revel in their hatred!